Page 44 of Practically Perfect
“Okay,” I reply, frozen in place, a cornucopia of emotions swirling inside me, all fighting to get out at the same time.
He nods and heads for the front door, taking one final look at me with an expression I can’t quite read before leaving.
I’m finally alone with my thoughts. Alone to determine what’s next for me. What I want for my life. The life that seemed practically perfect months ago now seems broken beyond repair.
And I know what I have to do.
I reach for my phone, firing off a quick text message to set my plan in motion.
Kate
Hey! What time will you be home tonight? I’d love for us to talk.
I wait patiently for twenty minutes until my phone dings with his response.
Brian
Should be home by 9:30. Plan to talk at 10?
Kate
Sounds great!
A sense of peace washes over me, confident I know what must be done. I throw a few essential items into a bag, grab my car keys, and head out to drive to Chicago.
twenty-seven
Standingoutside the door of Brian’s apartment, I mentally run through what I’m going to say. The words I rehearsed more than a dozen times on my way here. The ones I desperately need him to hear so he understands how I’m feeling and what I need.
I inhale and exhale slowly, willing myself to remain calm and have the strength to get through this conversation. I knock on his door three times, taking a step back as I open and close my fists, digging my nails into my palms.
When the door swings open, Brian’s mouth drops and his eyes widen. “Oh my God, Kate! What are you doing here?” He walks out of the apartment, pulling me into a hug and squeezing before releasing me. “I didn’t expect to see you. I thought you wanted to talk on the phone.”
“Thought it might be best if we chatted in person. It’s been a long time since we were in the same room. More than a month.” I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear and drag my lower lip between my teeth.
Brian runs his fingers down my face, cupping my chin, and placing a soft kiss on my lips. A genuine smile of contentment appears on his face as he takes my hand, bringing me inside. Hewalks me over to the huge black leather couch in his living room, gesturing for me to sit next to him. Just like old times.
“What do you want to talk about, beautiful?” Brian asks, gazing at me curiously. “I hope you’re not too mad that I had to miss the party. You know how much I wanted to be there.” He leans against the arm of the couch, crossing one of his legs. He’s dressed for bed in light gray sweatpants and a ratty college T-shirt, the type of outfit that is usually my kryptonite. Not tonight.
The air in the room vanishes, and my chest tightens, making it difficult to breathe, almost like an elephant is sitting on me. I’m frozen for a second, unable to utter a single word as the reality of what I’m about to do hits me.
After blowing out a deep breath, I shake my head, forcing myself to do what has to be done. “I’m disappointed you couldn’t come to the party. It was—” I look at the ceiling for a minute, wanting to get out these words without crying. “It was humiliating. Let’s?—”
Brian’s smile vanishes. “So, youarepissed about the party. You know I had to work,” he says defensively. “What did you expect me to do?”
“This isn’t about the party,” I reply.
“Then what’s going on?” he asks, his demeanor shifting from frustrated to concerned.
“It’s about us. Our wedding. Our relationship. All of it,” I answer, clasping my hands together and placing them in my lap. “Nothing this year has gone as expected. My mom’s accident made me see my life through a different lens. It’s caused me to question what I want out of life. I’m not the same person as I was six weeks ago.”
He nods, a tranquil expression on his face. He’s not going to see this coming. Hasn’t picked up on any of the signs over the past few weeks. Believes missing our party, constantly letting me down, and ignoring my needs aren’t a big deal.
I swallow hard. “I think?—”
“Do you want to make a career change? Have kids sooner? Money won’t be an issue once we’re married,” he blurts with a smirk.
I shake my head, closing my eyes and forcing down the anger building inside me.
