Page 196 of After Midnight
Maybe this was all about the money after all and I was just another lick. But even thinking that shit made me sick because deep down I didn’t fully believe it. Not when I remembered the way she looked at Melo. The way she cried in my arms. The way she shook while telling me goodbye.
I just wanted to knowwhy?
I sat in the dark living room staring at my phone like a fucking addict. Half hoping she'd unblock me. Half wanting to throw the phone through the wall. My pride was wounded. My heart was shattered.
And worst of all I still wanted her.
Still loved her.
Still craved her in a way that made me want to crawl out of my skin.
Melo's voice pulled me out my thoughts. "Daddy?"
I looked up quickly to see him standing in the hallway in dinosaur pajamas rubbing one eye sleepily.
"You okay?" he asked softly.
That almost broke me all over again. I quickly sat forward forcing a smile onto my face. "Yeah, buddy. What you doing up?"
He shrugged, little face sad. "I miss GG."
I swallowed hard looking away for a second before opening my arms. "C'mere."
He climbed into my lap curling against my chest. I held him tight, pressing my lips against the top of his head while pain ripped through me so hard I could barely breathe through it.
"You think GG still love us?" he asked quietly.
Fuck.
My eyes instantly burned. I hugged him tighter trying to keep myself together for him. "Yeah, buddy," I whispered hoarsely. "I think she do."
"You think she'll come back?" he asked sadly.
"I hope so, son." I rubbed his back. "But hey—look at me?"
He lifted his head.
I cupped his chin in my hand forcing a smile. "In the meantime, Daddy is here. It'll just be me and you like old times. The boys." I held out my fist.
Melo gave me a soft smile and pressed his little fist to mine.
"C'mon. Let's watch some TV until you go to sleep. I'll let you stay home tomorrow and we can have a boy's day. Sound good?"
He nodded quickly dimples sinking in. I turned on Disney and we fell asleep watching Iron Man. I woke up to the sound of my door opening and the sun streaming in the windows. Cracking my eyes open, I saw my parents and my sister strolling in quietly. A Tupperware container was in my Mama's hand.
"Good morning," she whispered as they took off their shoes approaching.
"Morning," I replied peering down at my son who was still curled up on my chest. "Let me go lay him down." I rose carefully and carried Melo to his room, tucking him in and tiptoeing out.
Angel came into my arms when I rounded the corner hugging me around my waist tight. "How are you?" She looked up at me.
I opened my mouth to lie but shook my head. "Not good," I confessed.
Her face fell and she gave me another hug.
Pops was next, wrapping me in his strong embrace, his calloused hands pressed firmly against my back. "We're here, son. We're not letting you do this alone."
"Thanks, Pop." I spoke into his shoulder before we let go.
