Page 13 of Ironside
I shook my head and placed my hand on his chest, following the line of buttons on his shirt with my finger.
“Nothing,” I said. “There is absolutely nothing wrong. Everything is so unbelievably perfect.”
And I meant that. Every word of it.
But he frowned, skeptical.
“You were spaced out a second ago. If we’re moving too fast—”
“No,” I cut in. Gripping his forearm, I pulled him closer. “No, it’s not too fast. It’s wonderful. I promise. But…we do need to talk.”
“Ah,” he said. “That sounds serious.”
I sighed, trying to quell the sudden resurgence of anxiety boiling in my belly like angry bees. I preferred the heady buzz of desire that Ironside had filled me with a moment ago.
“It’s just…kissing tends to lead to other things,” I said. “Like sex. Which is complicated.”
Ironside arched an eyebrow.
“If you don’t want to sleep together on the first date, you can just say so, petal. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not that…” I trailed off and shook my head. God, why did this conversation never get any easier no matter how many times I had it? “I have a condition. It makes penetrative sex difficult—sometimes even possible—because of tightness and pain. I’ve tried my best to manage it over the years, but it’s still an issue. And it tends to kill the mood.”
Ironside made a thoughtful noise.
“Is that why you were so nervous?”
“Part of it,” I admitted. “I mean, I really haven’t been on a date in a few years, so I’m a little rusty. And it doesn’t exactly go over well when I tell my dates about my…problem,” I added, fiddling with my napkin.
“You seemed to enjoy necking like horny teenagers though,” he pointed out.
I barked a laugh of surprise, then immediately clamped a hand over my mouth, mortified at how loud I’d been. Ironside’s eyes gleamed as he shifted closer, caging me against the wall with his body. Surrounding me with his heat and his masculine scent and those eyes that were quickly turning my panties into a sopping mess.
“I did enjoy that,” I said, barely above a whisper. “I enjoyed it very, very much.”
“If you're agreeable to it,” Ironside mused. “I'm interested to discover what else you like.”
He brushed his knuckles down my arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Then he inched the hem of my skirt up, exposing my knees. My heart leaped into my throat and I bit the inside of my cheek as he trailed one fingertip lazily along the inside of my thigh.
“Are you going to find out?” I said softly.
A small smile flickered across his lips.
“That depends.”
“On what?” I asked.
“When you say sex is painful, does that mean you’ve never done…anything at all? Is this your first time being touched by a man?”
I glanced away. Another aspect of this conversation that I dreaded.
“Technically, I’m a virgin,” I replied. “But I’ve done other things. And no, this isn’t the first time I’ve been touched by a man.”
Although it was certainly the first time a man had taken my breath away like this.
For some men, the fact that I was an adult virgin was a dealbreaker. They didn’t want to be with a woman who had no experience and didn’t know what she was doing. To rub salt in the wound, there was no guarantee that I could ever have sex in the first place.
So, dating me appeared to be a no-win situation in their eyes.
