Page 28 of The Real Mason
Not exactly that, but it seems the easier part of the answer.
“Maybe.” Anger pushes through all my other emotions, emerging bright and strong. I straighten my spine. Why shouldn’t I be angry? Ideserveto be angry. He lied to me, never told me anything about the preferences he’d shared with countless, unnamed women. How many, it’s impossible for me to know, and I’m not sure I want to hear the answer.
He studies me closely, expression unreadable. “What exactly bothers you?”
How dare he act dense. “Like you don’t know!”
By his pointed look, he clearly plans to wait me out.
I’m beginning to loathe this implacable patience.
I shift, pushing at his immovable chest with the flat of my hands. “Do you want to think about me having sex with other men?”
“Nice try.” He presses his lips together. “But that’s not it.”
I scowl, crossing my arms over my breasts. “I don’t like you very much.”
“I’m waiting.” He strums his fingers on the curve of my hip to emphasize his point.
“Fine!” I blow out a breath, sending a curl flying before it flops down over one eye. “I’m mad!”
He nods. “I can see that.”
The anger picks up speed, and I fall into the righteousness of my argument. “You say you love me, but you never told me the truth. You hid all this from me—things you shared with other women. They got to know this intimate part of you, and me, the woman you claim to care about, gets what? A big, fat watered-down version of you? I’m furious.”
Why should I be nice about it? He’s the one who should be groveling, not the other way around!
He sighs, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “And now you feel minimized?”
Yes, that’s exactly it, you jerk. I nod.
“I do love you.”
I huff, shaking my head. “Not enough to trust me.”
“I’ve made a real mess of things, haven’t I?” He squeezes me tight, seeming to ignore my rigid posture.
“Yes!” I don’t melt into his embrace. It’s the only way I can think of to make him pay.
He leans back and meets my eyes. “If I could go back and do it all over again, I would. Believe me, I know how wrong I am. But I can’t change the past. I can only promise to be honest going forward and work as hard as I can to rebuild your trust.”
It’s a start, but I’m not appeased.
He strokes a path over my jaw. “I promise, you are the most important woman in my life. I have never truly loved another woman before you. Given what you just experienced, I understand it’s hard to see that the other women were just play. This can bring up intense emotions, and I cared about the women I was with, but I didn’t feel for them what I do for you.”
“Then why didn’t you trust me?”
“It’s not about trusting you. I was afraid it would push you away.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”
“That’s because you’re forgetting a key element.”
“What’s that?”
He curls a palm around my neck, his grip strong and capable. “Those women knew who and what I was before we even spoke to each other. It doesn’t make them more important than you. It makes them more informed.”
My hands curl into fists. “Why did you think you couldn’t have told me?”
