Page 65 of Blind Date
“I’m not.” My jaw clenched.
“Why? I don’t understand. I mean, I do, because you’re you. But you’re different when you’re with her. You’re not Cold Castile anymore.”
“She deserves better,” I said.
“Better? Better than what?” His voice rose.
“Better than me. She’s starting to see a future with me. I can tell. And being who I am, I can’t give her one.”
“Okay. Hold up a second.” He put up his hand. “If this has anything to do with your grandfather or grandmother, you’re an idiot. No wait. You’re a complete fuckhead, Wes.”
“Wow. Are you finished?”
“No! I was there. I grew up with you in that same house since we were eight years old. I saw it. I knew it. Your grandparents had the worst marriage in the world. They were more like business partners than a married couple in love. We learned the same lessons, but somehow ended up in very different places when it comes to love and relationships. You know what I took from it?”
“What?”
“That life is too short. That the people you love can be gone in an instant.”
“Exactly my point,” I said, tossing the pen on the desk.
“No.” He pointed at me. “That’s where we’re different. I decided to love someone while I have them.”
Fuck. I already knew where this was going.
“You deciding for yourself means you should never love anyone enough to lose them,” he said.
I didn’t answer him. I didn’t need to.
“You’re scared. I get it,” Finn said.
“I’m being realistic and thinking with my brain.”
“You’re being a fucking coward. You love her. I know it! Is it because of Zoey?”
“No. Zoey is a great kid.”
“You found someone you’re willing to change for. And now you’re going to break her heart because you’re afraid she may break yours someday?”
I looked down because, when he put it that way, it sounded ridiculous.
“You’re walking away before you’ve given yourself a chance to find out what forever could look like,” he said.
“I don’t know, Finn. Maybe my grandfather was right.”
“About what?”
“Business first.”
He slowly shook his head. “Your grandfather was a total asshole, who died alone. Your grandmother wasn’t even home when he had that heart attack in the bathroom. Sure. He had this company, money, and power. But that’s all he had, Wes. We may have lived with him, but he was never once there for us. And you never had what you have right now.”
“I’ll screw everything up. I’m not boyfriend material.”
“Of course you will. You’ll screw up, she’ll screw up. Everyone screws up. That’s part of being in a relationship.”
“I don’t have time for all of that,” I said.
“Fuck, man. You are not your grandfather. I will tell you this. Ending it before it even begins? That’s one mistake you can’t come back from.”
