Page 18 of Accidental Blood Lust
“Right. I was with Jareth. But do I smell like sex?” Loch squirms and I squeeze his throat a little harder. Ah, I think I see what the problem is. It’s the same problem I’m having. “Do I smell like I’vehadsex,” I amend. “Do you smell my cum or Jareth’s?”
He hesitates a second, then shakes his head. I loosen my grip on his throat, but I don’t step back yet; I can’t seem to make myself. Loch’s eyes open slowly and meet mine again.
“Why not? You’re in love with him.” The bitterness is gone from his tone now, replaced by a resigned kind of curiosity. He made the same accusation earlier, and I told him the truth. Of course, I’m in love with Jareth. I’ve loved him almost as long as I can remember.
“Because he’s not my fated mate.”
His face contorts and then he laughs. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
Of course he doesn’t get it. Why would he? He’s been a vampire for, what? A few weeks? He still thinks like a human and he doesn’t realize how long forever really is to spendwondering if fate might throw someone into your path to derail your happily ever after if you try to claim someone else.
“Jareth thinks so too,” I tell him, and then I spend just a second eyeing him. He really doesn’t understand what’s happening between us, does he? Could I be wrong? Yes, he smells like sex. And yes, my wolf is showing interest in someone for the first time inmonths. But maybe it doesn’t mean what I think it does. Is there someone I can ask? Some way to know for sure?
His eyelids droop just a little, telegraphing a fraction of a second before he moves just like he did before. Instead of lunging at me with his fangs out this time though, his lips pucker and a needy sound vibrates in his throat. I catch him by the jaw this time, stopping him half an inch from my lips.
He blinks rapidly like he’s coming out of a thrall and pulls back.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
I grunt in response and finally take a step back. Every cell in my body aches in protest, including the ones in my painfully hard dick.
“That’s your room.” I point at the door he’s still leaning against. “You won’t be able to leave the underworld without one of us but just go ahead and find me or Cas if you need anything.”
I spin on my heel and walk away, listening to make sure I hear him go into his room and close the door before I turn down the hallway that leads to Auri’s office.
I might as well get this part over with.
LOCHLAN
Why the fuckdid I do that? I don’t want to kiss Roman. I mean, okay, he’s sexy as fuck and he smells like orgasmssomehow, but I’min lovewith Jareth. I don’t evenlikeRoman. He’s a dick and he always has been. Well, aside from what he did for me just now, helping me work on untangling scents and reassuring me that they didn’t fuck, even though he was right that it’s technically none of my business.
“Fuck,” I growl, raking my fingers through my hair and pacing around the room.
Everything feels so wrong and mixed up. I’m horny and heartbroken and pissed off, and I don’t know what to do with all of it. I told Cas I wanted to freshen up, but honestly, I think I just needed a few minutes to get my thoughts together and be alone. It’s not like Ineedto shower. I don’t sweat, I don’t get that grimy feeling on my skin like I did when I was human. Maybe the hot water would be soothing anyway though. It would be something familiar, at least.
I strip out of my clothes and fold them neatly. I’ll have to put them back on when I’m done. I guess if I’m going to stay here for a little while, I should ask Cas or Roman to take me back to my apartment to pack a bag. I told them I would leave as soon as possible, but the thought weighs heavily on me as I make my way into the en suite bathroom and turn on the shower, cranking the heat as high as it will go. It’s not like it can hurt me, and an unbearably hot shower sounds amazing.
I was never good at connecting with other people. Sure, I dated and had some casual friends before I met Jare, but it always seemed like there was something missing, some connection other people felt that I didn’t. I was working at a café when we met, and I can still remember the feeling that rushed through me the first time our eyes met. It felt like he knew me somehow, even though we’d never seen each other before. We just clicked. I’ve never had that with anyone else. Maybe that’s what Cas meant when he said that I would already know ifJareth and I were mates. Could we be? Is there someone I can ask?
I step under the water and groan, ignoring the fact that my dick is still hard from Roman’s scent lingering in my nose. Blue balls can be my punishment for whateverthatwas out in the hallway. I don’t bother with soap, I just stand under the water until some innate sense that I don’t understand yet tells me Cassius is outside of my room. I turn the shower off and towel dry, then get dressed in a flurry. Ha, that part of being a vampire is pretty cool, at least. Naked to clothed in less than one second is pretty badass.
I open the door and find Cas in the hallway, just like I expected. He’s traded his puffy Gothic shirt and dark slacks for a much more modern look of a black V-neck t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and motorcycle boots.
“I get weird looks when I go to human bars in my usual clothes,” he explains.
I snort a laugh. “I didn’t get the feeling you were the type of guy who cared what people thought of him.”
“I don’t, darling. But if they think you’re a weirdo, they’re much less compliant when you lure them into a dark alley to bite them,” he says, and I shudder.
Shit, it’s going to be a long night.
JARETH
My garden is weed free,my house is spotless, and I’ve already taken a long walk through the forest today to connect with nature. I guess I can call that a productive day. The problem is, all that’s left is to go inside my quiet little cottage and spend the rest of the night alone.
I used to love being alone. Granted, I looked forward to Roman’s visits, but after years of theverycommunal living I experienced with Roman’s pack, I was thrilled when I bought this secluded house all for myself. I couldn’t wait to spend peaceful mornings sipping my tea and leisurely nights reading by the fire uninterrupted. I do still love those things, but they feel somehow sadder now without Lochlan here.
I huff at that thought and busy myself making a fire. He made his choices and there’s no taking them back now. Even if I could forgive him, I meant what I said to Roman—what’s the point when he’s going to get all fated mate obsessed eventually, just like my stupid, perfect wolfie bestie is.
