Page 61 of Psychic Obsession
Frode nodded."Maybe there wasn't."
Nikolai wasn't sure he believed that.Julian might not have cheated on him, not physically, but there had always been something in Julian's expression when he'd talked about Peter.
"Did you spend a lot of time with Declan or whatever his name was?"
Frode scrunched his nose and ate a bite of lasagna."Declan isn't a good example."
"Why?You were together; it ended.There had to have been a reason for it to end."He grabbed his beer, and right as he was about to swallow, Frode spoke.
"Sure.I'm too frigid, so he had to screw around on me."
The beer went down wrong, and Nikolai started to cough."What?"He coughed some more, tears forming in his eyes.
"I'm not affectionate enough to have a partner."
"Bullshit."Frode was affectionate.He might not be big on touch, and while Nikolai liked touch, liked to cuddle, he'd never cheat on his partner because they didn't snuggle up with him.He'd loved spooning Julian on the couch while watching TV, but he didn't need it, and Frode could spoon someone if he wanted.Or was it too much touch for him?
Frode shrugged."I don't know.I'm not a touchy-feely guy, and sex can be a bit of a chore."
Nikolai didn't mean to, but he burst out laughing."I'm sorry, what?"
Frode rolled his eyes."There is no heat of the moment with me, and I understand it can get old after a while."He shook his head, but there was something in his eyes that kept Nikolai from laughing again.
"How do you mean?"
Frode sighed."It's easier with a quick blowjob in a bar.Then there are no expectations.If they have their dicks down my throat, they don't care if I don't caress them.I don't undress them, I keep my gloves on, and they don't question it.If I bring them back here--which I never do--I have to tell them not to touch anything.It gets weird.Forced."
Heat washed through Nikolai, but the smile Frode gave him was almost sad.
"In the beginning, Declan was intrigued by my skill, but when reality sank in, he grew bored.He complained I never...touched him the way he wanted me to."
Nikolai held his breath for a few seconds."And how did he want you to touch him?"
A small shrug."He wanted me to need him.I guess we all want our partners to need us, but he wanted me to tear his clothes off him, to touch him, to never wear my gloves when I was with him.And I get it.If you've fantasized all day about coming home to your partner and have him press you against the wall and rip your clothes off, consumed with need, and instead you have to tell said partner you want them to fuck you, it's a bit...anticlimactic.Especially since I'd then tell him to go into the bedroom and undress before I was willing to join him.Or I'd touch him with my gloves on."
Nikolai frowned."I don't see the problem."
Frode stared at him."You don't see the problem?"
"No, if the gloves are to come off, then the area you plan to be in has to have been cleared of things that can trigger you.I understand, and I see how it takes away some of the spontaneity.And yeah, maybe you wouldn't be able to pin him to the door the moment he crossed the threshold without wearing gloves, but with gloves you could have."
"Yes, but I'm not a mind reader, and maybe I suck at social cues, I don't know.How did you know when Julian wanted you to...pin him to the door?"
Nikolai gave him a wicked grin."Well...he'd send me a text.Tell me he missed me and was on his way home, or he'd been thinking about me all day, or something along those lines."And it had been some time since he had.Nikolai hadn't realized until right then how there had been next to no texting the last year other than those of the have-you-had-dinner kind.
Frode stared at him."He told you?"
"No one is a mind reader, Frode.How was I to know if he'd had a crappy day at work and wanted to curl up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream or if he wanted me to fuck his brains out in the hallway the moment he got home unless he told me?And how was he to know if I'd spent hours looking at a mutilated body and sex was the last thing on my mind or if I'd had a calm day filling out reports and taking phone calls and wanted nothing more than to get down and dirty with him unless I told him?"
"Right."He avoided Nikolai's gaze and ate the last of his lasagna.
"So what you're telling me is Declan was an ass?"Nikolai ate too, the food was mostly cold by now, but it was still good.
"He had some good qualities."
* * * *
Frode frowned.What qualities did Declan possess?Things had been good in the beginning, but where he still was able to list admirable characteristics in Chance, he drew a blank when it came to Declan.Maybe it was because it had ended badly.
