Page 26 of You Make Me Feel
Skyler and Hudson exchange a look I can’t quite understand. Then without any words exchanged between them, Skyler takes their son from Hudson, being careful not to wake him as she sits back down and keeps talking to Ayda.
“Want some company?” Hudson asks.
I don’t, really. But he looks so damn hopeful. “Yeah, sure.” I nod. “Sounds good.”
Hudson stands, stretching like a man who’s content with his life. He rolls his shoulders and falls into step beside me as we head toward the beach. The sand crunches under our shoes, the tide sliding in with an easy rhythm.
“So,” he says after we’ve been walking for a minute or two. “You look like a man who just lost a fight he didn’t know he was in.”
I huff out a laugh. I’m way too easy to read. “Something like that.”
He glances at me, that half-smile of his doing its usual job of making me feel both seen and mildly irritated. “Want to tell me who the unlucky opponent was?”
I shake my head. “No opponent. Just… me being me.”
“Which means?”
“An asshole,” I say. “You know, the usual.”
Hudson’s quiet for a second. “That line worked better when you were nineteen and trying to impress girls.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone.” Which is a good thing, because I’m so far from impressive it isn’t funny.
He kicks at the sand, his voice gentler. “You ever think maybe you don’t have to keep proving you don’t care about things? Maybe it’s okay to… care.”
I stare out at the horizon, at the shimmer of light where the sea meets the sky. “Caring got me nowhere before.”
“Then maybe you’ve been caring about the wrong people.”
Yeah, well apparently I’m not anymore.
Thinking about the expression on Sadie’s face as she yelled at me for stealing her book makes something sharp twist in my chest. I shift my arms, trying to make it leave,andJane Eyrefalls from my pocket, landing on the sand with a slap.
Hudson bends down and picks it up, dusting the grains of sand off before he hands it to me. “Read it yet?” he asks.
“Nope. You?”
“Read it during college. But I’ll read it again before our next club.” He smiles. “I don’t want to incur the wrath of Romy.”
I turn the book over, seeing the front image. “Does it remind you of me?”
Hudson laughs gently. “You should probably read it and decide for yourself.”
Yeah, well maybe I’m done with reading.
“What’s going on?” Hudson asks. “This can’t be about the Book Club. I’ve never seen you so… I don’t know. Not full of yourself.”
I almost laugh at that. Hudson can be such an asshole.
But he’s probably right.
“Ah, I’m just having a moment,” I tell him. “It’ll work out in the end.”
He takes a long breath, and I fucking know that sound. It’s the prelude to a Hudson lecture. I used to get them all the time when I was younger. Being the eldest, he thought he knew everything.
“You know,” he says softly, his voice mixing in with the breeze. “I hurt Skyler real bad when we first got together.” There are clouds reflected in his eyes. “She was pregnant and I pushed her away.”
I know this, but I let him talk. It’s usually easier that way.
