Page 55 of You Make Me Feel
Oh great, so there goes that excuse in the future. “I didn’t think about that,” I murmur. “Anyway, it’s a nice day. I wanted to get some fresh air.”
“Isn’t there enough air on Liberty?” Hudson’s voice softens, but it carries that edge only an older brother can manage. “You sure you’re okay?”
I stare through the windshield at the line of cars, their outlines blurred in the afternoon light. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I just worry about you. All of you.”
“You don’t need to,” I tell him. “Not anymore.” Because I’m more worried about him. Not to mention his kids.
“Well I can’t help that.” He pauses for a minute. “When will you be home?”
I realize he’s talking about the island. And now I understand the call. He’s afraid I’ve left without saying goodbye.
Jesus, I’m not that much of a dick, am I?
“Heading back in a bit,” I say. “Should be there by evening. Don’t worry,Dad. I won’t miss my curfew.”
He laughs softly. “Asshole.”
“Thanks for checking in on me, but everything’s fine.”
“No problem.Take it easy.”
“You too.” I hang up and stare out of the windshield again, feeling guilty. And then I look down at my phone and see she’s replied to another question and my lips curl.
Roughness scale – 6 I think. I want you to be powerful. But I also need to feel like I have power too. – Sadie
God, I love how honest she is. How she’s throwing herself into this. How she’s completely unaware that she holdsallthe power.
Planning our night, picturing her breathless, running through the dark is the best distraction. Simple. No expectations. No family waiting for me to fall apart.
I’m not looking for a relationship right now.That’s what I told her. And it’s the truth. I can’t put anybody else through this. And of all the people I know, she deserves better than me.
But that’s okay. This thing between us is only about the game, about her pleasure, helping her push her boundaries in a safe way. It’s nothing about the way her messages make me feel steady for the first time all day.
Because that would be too close to admitting she makes me feel alive. And I’m not sure I want to feel anything real right now.
fifteen
Sadie
“I swear I’m going to kill her,” Romy tells me as I lock the door of the shop behind us. We closed up late tonight. Mostly because Romy’s sister outed her TikTok account to her whole family, and she’s currently going through a minor crisis.
“It’s going to be okay,” I promise her. “Remember that Francie didn’t come out to her brothers for years about writing romantasy because she was afraid about what they’d think of her spicy scenes. And now they’re her biggest fans.”
“Only because she sends them a list of the chapters they have to skip.” Romy sighs. “My sister hates that I’m studying for a degree,” she says. “She’s scared I’m going to think I’m better than them and leave them behind.”
Romy has a big family. And she’d tell you herself that they’re all on the border of dysfunctional. But then what family isn’t?
“Is that why she shared it in your family chat?” I ask. Because apparently she sent everybody the link to Romy’s latest reverse harem post.
“Yep. And now she must die.”
We reach Romy’s car and she opens the trunk, letting me load the box of books into the back. Each month she takes a box to the local women’s shelter on the mainland. A mixture of fiction and childrens’ books.
“Well try not to get arrested. I can’t run this place without you,” I say.
“I’m not making any promises. But I’ve read enough dark romance to know where to bury her body where it’ll never be found.”
