Page 34 of You Make Me Feel
ZACH
The sun is rising to the east of the island as I step outside of the apartment and onto the graveled path.
I should turn around and go back to bed. This is a bad idea. The kind that ends with regret and broken glass. But I can’t get her out of my head. Maybe I don’t want to.
She wants me to chase her. I want to fucking catch her. After that? I have no idea.
Okay, I have a lot of ideas. But most of those ideas end with her begging me to stop, and that’s not happening.
So why are you even out here?
I don’t know. Or maybe I don’t want to think about it too hard. I just want to feel and forget. Running helps. When I move fast enough, I don’t have to think about pretty temptations or doctors or the diagnosis hanging around my neck like an albatross.
I’d rather think about the way she looked at me yesterday. Like she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
A wry smile pulls at my lips as I start walking along the driveway toward the cliff, the steps down will lead me to the beach. I’ll do a couple of miles to warm myself up then meet her outside the Salty Dog.
I groan when I hear my name being called. It’s Hudson, of course. The man is always up at this early hour. He was even when we were kids. Christmas mornings we’d be dragged out of bed at the ass crack of dawn by him, a manic grin pulling at his lips as he told us that Santa had been.
“You going running?” he calls out, closing his car door shut as he ambles over.
“Yep. Gotta get the miles in,” I tell him.
He nods. Then looks at me. “Those sunglasses are something else. You look like your eyes are on fire.”
“They cut the glare,” I tell him, lifting them up to look at him. “It’s sunny today.”
He nods. “You doing okay, man? After the other day…”
“I’m fine.” And seriously, I am. I feel better now. And I just want to run.
While I can.
“Okay. Let’s get together soon. Not to talk about the art trail or books. Just family.”
My smile broadens. “I’d like that.”
“I would too.” He touches my arm lightly. “I gotta go. Got a call with London. Have a good run.”
When I reach the beach it’s empty, as it always is at this time of the morning. The tide is out, leaving the sand wet and compacted, and easier to run on than the dry grains further up toward the cliff. I start slowly, letting my muscles warm up, feeling the beat of my heart echo the thud of my shoes against the shore. It only takes a mile to get up to speed, enough that the wind rushes against me,pushing my hair back, cooling my skin, as all the noise in my head starts to fade.
This is the only time I feel close to calm. Optimistic, almost. Like I’m not on a countdown to the darkness.
When my body’s burning, I feel completely alive. And I crave that.
The air is sharp with salt and seaweed, the horizon washed gold from the sunrise. The sound of the waves fills the spaces where my thoughts usually sit.
But then I think abouther.The way she looked at me yesterday; like I was both the problem and the solution.
And there it is again. The pulse under my skin that’s got nothing to do with running.
I slow a little, scanning the beach ahead, and my mouth curves despite myself. Sadie’s there, bent over like she’s stretching, in a pair of tight shorts that end mid-thigh and a crop top that exposes her taut stomach. I swallow hard, imagining what it would be like to press my palm against her abdomen. To feel her soft skin. Feel the tightening of her muscles as I slide my hand over her.
She looks up, her mouth parting slightly as she sees me approach. She stretches her other leg out, her hand on her thigh as she bends over. And for a second, I can’t look away. Her skin is lit by the sun, turning almost translucent as it glows. Her hair is a fiery red, piled up to expose her smooth neck and shoulders.
“Do you know how intimidating you look?” she asks me. “Like a stormtrooper out on his morning jog.”
I laugh softly, then lift the shades from my eyes, our gazes connecting. She lets out a sharp breath.
