Page 62 of Brant
"No." She rubbed a hand over her distended abdomen slowly.
"Problems?" His tawny eyes followed her movements.
"No. Brant-"
"Upstairs." Without waiting to see if she was following, he strode toward the staircase.
Letting out a breath, she followed him, her heart beating fast. He looked so cool and unapproachable that she found herself wondering if this was it.
He was out on the balcony when she went in, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, as he stared out at the trees waving in the summer breeze.
"I love you."
"Oh. I-"
"I'm not finished." He had his back turned toward her, his profile rigid.
"I've never said that to a woman before. I've never been in love before. It's earth-shattering." He lifted a fisted hand to his chest.
"Ever since I met you, I cannot look at another woman. You consume me. Even when I'm away from you, I know what your scent is, because it's in my nostrils. I know every shape, every curve intimately. It's distressing and scary. What's even more distressing is the fact that you're so insecure when I've given you absolutely no reason to be."
"I-"
"Still not done." He turned to face her, eyes glittering. "It's the fact that your mother never showed you that she cared or thedifficulties you've been through in your life, and I take all of that into account. All of it. And you're pregnant, hormones raging." He gestured to her swollen belly.
"My seed is growing inside you and that is cause for celebration. It was what you fought for, what you wanted, and now you got it. But you cannot seem to let yourself be happy. I love you," he repeated. "I cannot be with anyone else, don't want to be with anyone else. When will you get that?"
She shifted her feet and stared at a point over his left shoulder. She ached for him, just wanted to feel his strong arms wrapped around her. "I love you so much, but I feel unattractive. You're used to beautiful women and I'm pregnant, hormonal, and fat. I feel clumsy. I keep wondering if you're going to regret-" She stopped when he hissed out a breath.
"I cry at the drop of a hat, and I know you hate it, but I can't seem to stop. I'm not the type of woman who dissolves into tears. I'm not the kind who's needy and clingy, and I've become both." She looked at him, eyes bright with tears.
"I'm scared of driving you away. Scared that one day you're going to find out that you can do better."
"Damn you, Indigo!" He crossed the space to stand in front of her.
"I smell," she continued, her chin lifting. "I pass gas and I pee a lot. You're Brant O'Keefe-"
"Your bloody husband, and if you think I'm the kinda guy who does not appreciate that his wife's pregnancy comes with all sorts of symptoms, then you don't really know me." He clamped his hands on her shoulders.
"Before I discovered that I was in love with you, I saw you at your damn worst. I saw you bloodied, with your head over the toilet bowl. And I stayed and took care of you. Do you think I'm going to run now?" He shook her slightly.
"Your insecurities, thinking that I'm with someone else, that is pissing me off. Is that what you think of me? That I would leave my pregnant wife and go and be with another woman? Am I that shallow, that low, that terrible? Answer me!"
"No." Lifting her hands, she curled them into his shirt. "No. You're wonderful and the best thing that ever happened in my life and I don't want to mess it up. But I keep messing it up." Her lips trembled.
"Take me to bed, Brant. I just want you to hold me. I want to feel your arms around me and inhale your cologne. Take me to bed."
"I don't-"
"Please."
He wasn't proof against her vulnerability or the feel of her body so close to his. He had spent hours at the club trying to concentrate on the tennis game, and then the card game without success. All he wanted to do was to be with her.
With a feral growl, he clamped a hand at the back of her neck and crushed her lips with his.
Tears trickled down her cheeks as she kissed him back with everything in her. Her hands came around his neck, her body molding against his as far as her swollen abdomen would allow her. There was apology in the kiss, a profound regret and encompassing love.
Brant felt all of it and his heart melted. His hands wandered up and down her back, his fingers biting into her shoulders and back. It wasn't enough. He wanted to taste her skin, to see her naked, to kiss her all over, to drive himself so deep inside her that he would have difficulty getting back out.
