Page 131 of The Concubine King
‘A human concept of time,’ Vaire explains.‘One they rarely live to see completed.’
‘Not when you have a hand in it,’ Cadoc says bitterly.
Vaire tilts his head.‘Are you not the god of them killing each other?’
‘No,’ Cadoc rejects, disgusted.‘They worship me for courage and for strategy.And when they fight, when they do kill each other, it is for a purpose.It is not senseless, like it is when they die of disease, or famine, or cold.’
‘All things die,’ Dihen says.‘Regardless of how it comes to pass, it will pass.’
‘We don’t.’Cadoc looks them over.‘And neither do you.’
‘One day, our hearts will stop beating,’ Dihen replies.‘As all hearts do.’
Cadoc’s brow furrows and he glances between them.‘You have a heart?Like a human?’
‘Of course.’Vaire reaches out and Cadoc does not step back, allowing him to place his hand over his chest.There is no movement, no delicate flutter beneath the skin.‘You do not?’
‘Why would we?’
‘But you breathe.You speak, and think, and move.’Vaire shakes his head in wonderment.‘How can you have no heart?’
‘Because the humans have not imagined it so.’
Vaire takes his hand.He is used to the long, slender hands of darkness, and Cadoc’s seems too wide and warm in comparison.He rests it over his chest, so he can feel the beating there.Cadoc’s hand lingers.‘Without a heart, are you really alive?’
He takes his hand back.‘Plants and trees have no heart.’
‘They do,’ Vaire tells him.‘Even if it does not look or feel like ours.’He thinks a moment.‘Then perhaps it is the same for you.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘You must have a heart, of one kind or another.’Vaire looks at him another few moments, the blanch of his skin and the toss of brown hair.Vaire and Dihen—all the wild gods—came from the churning chaos of the universe.But these other gods came from the unpredictable craft of human imagination.Vaire reaches out to his face, and his warm cheek leans into Vaire’s palm.He does not understand the guarded conflict he sees in Cadoc’s gaze.
Dihen’s small hand grasps his other.‘Let us return, then.’
Vaire follows Dihen back the way the two of them came.
Kyarin senses his approach and turns.The sight of him—the sweep of black locks across his frosted shoulders, the flash of gray eyes, the familiar cadence of his movements—compels Vaire to a full sprint to close the rest of the space between them.He throws himself into Kyarin’s arms, clasping him as though if he holds tight enough he could be molded to the shape of his body forever.Kyarin catches him and uses the momentum to spin around in dizzying circles, the both of them laughing helplessly.
Stopping collapses them, turning clenched muscles and digging points into a loose heap on the forest floor, still shaking with laughter.There is no other outlet for the happiness and relief of being together again.
Kyarin sits them up and lifts his gaze to the presence standing unassumingly at the edge of their exuberance.He opens an arm in invitation and Dihen accepts, sinking into it while Vaire untangles his limbs from the rest of Kyarin’s.When he is only on top of them and not caught amongst them, he wraps his own arm around Dihen.And they stay like that, wound together, as Vaire tells Kyarin about his time visiting the others and Kyarin listens with rapt attention, cheek resting on Dihen’s head.
‘You will visit them soon, right?’Vaire asks when he’s done, brushing his fingers worriedly through Kyarin’s hair.‘It has been too long.You cannot keep putting it off just because I can’t go with you now.’
Kyarin smiles.‘I am not putting it off.I managed it by myself long before you came, my shelter.’
‘I know.’Vaire counters his smile with a frown.‘But don’t make me remember.I hate thinking of you alone.’It aches in his chest.Even leaving Kyarin for the time it took to visit the others was a certain kind of agony.A more ignorable one, but that didn’t make it bearable.
Vaire takes Kyarin’s face in his hands and kisses his cheeks, his nose, his lips.He lingers on the last, until Dihen’s gentle voice pulls them apart.
‘I should go.’
‘No,’ Vaire protests, wrapping them up and squeezing tighter.Dihen lifts their head from Kyarin’s shoulder.
‘If I stay much longer, darkness and I will kill the soil.’
Vaire pouts.Dihen smiles and raises their nose to Kyarin’s, closing their eyes.Kyarin nuzzles their noses together.Vaire rains kisses onto Dihen’s face.When they finish their farewell Dihen untangles themself from the pod and wanders into the forest.
