Page 55 of Open Water
"You're poor, Liam."
I stopped. My hand still on the door. Not because of the words but because of the sound of his voice. He was desperate and maybe that meant he cared.
"You're poor. And I'm a Harrington. My pedigree, my family, my name — all of it. Why would I stick around for a guy like you?" His voice was shaking. "It doesn't make sense. On paper, you don't matter. You're a poor scholarship kid. My father would tell you that. Marcus would tell you that."
My jaw locked. The anger rising hot and fast—
"But here I am. Shaking. In my dorm room. Terrified of you walking through that door." His voice broke. "Think about it, Liam.Think.Why would I risk everything for a guy who has nothing to offer me except himself? Why would I sneak aroundand hide this for the last three months? Why would I beat Marcus bloody in a library?"
I didn't turn around. But I didn't open the door.
"Pancakes at the diner. You touched my face and I knew. Right then. That it would always be you." His breath hitching. "I knew it didn't make sense. I knew my father would never understand it. I knew it would cost me everything. And I didn't care."
"Stop," I said.
"No. I'm not stopping. Because me ditching you doesn't make sense. There's no logic to it. I have every reason to walk away and I can't. I physically cannot do it."
I stood at the door. My hand on the knob. The metal cold.
"There's a reason I'm shaking, Liam. It's because either way this goes, I lose everything. I choose you, I lose my future. I choose them, I lose you. There's no version of this where I don't lose."
He put his hand on my shoulder and I want to swat it away, and at the same time I wanted to turned to him and collapse in his arms. I turned to face him.
He stood there with fear in his eyes and hands trembling — actually trembling. A twenty-year-old kid with a bruised jaw and tears in his eyes who was scared out of his mind.
"Other people make it without the family money, Alex. People do it every day."
"I know." His voice small, his hand dropped to his side. "But I'm not like you, Liam. I wasn't built for it. I grew up with everything handed to me and I've never once had to survive without a safety net." He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "And that's the thing — that's why I admire you so much. You showed up here with nothing. You earned everything you have."
Don't.
"You're the strongest person I've ever met. And I said okay to my father because I'm not that strong. I'm not. I wish I was."
Don't let him do this.
"But I'm trying. I'm trying to be the person who says no. And I need you to — I need—"
His voice gave out. Just stopped. Like the engine cut. He stood there with his hands shaking and his face wet.
I looked at him. The bruise on his jaw that he got defending us.
People who are leaving don't do this.
I sat down on the bed.
"Sit down," I said.
He sat right next to me, head down.
"Ever since the race in September… this has been insane. I've lost my direction. I've lost my girlfriend. I could lose my career."
He turned his head towards me, blue eyes still scared and still tearing up.
"You were the last thing that was supposed to happen to me."
His forehead relaxed and his face softened.
"So don't tell me I don't understand what this costs. I've been paying for it too."
