Page 97 of By All Accounts
He stopped again, turning so abruptly I almost tripped and landed on my ass. I caught myself against the wall and my brother steadied me back to my feet.
“Is that truly what you thought would happen?”
“You have very high standards, Marshall.”
“I’m being serious.”
I made a dismissive sound in the back of my throat. “So am I, Marshall. I can mean everything I said to you at dinner last week and still think your opinions are sometimes too strong, that you think your own way is a little too right. I can recognize how grateful I am for you and for that, and still be scared of it sometimes.”
“You’re nearly forty, Finn.”
“Do you think you become less impressive with age?” I hated the way my voice echoed off the walls, so I lowered it. “Do you think your shadow becomes any less imposing?”
I brushed past him and continued my way down the stairs. Marshall waited, let me get a little way ahead of him before he followed behind me. Neither of us said another word, but when I reached the lobby level my chest heaved, and I hated the way my shirt clung to my spine. Marshall caught up to me and looked at me for what felt like the first time in years. I hated the feel of it, so I closed my eyes while he took stock.
“All I want for any of you, any of us, is to be happy. We were all dealt a shit hand, and if we’re able to come through it and find happiness, that’s…that’s the only thing I hope.”
“Iamhappy,” I told him.
“With the two of them?”
“The two of them.”
“They’re getting married, Finn.”
“I’m aware,” I drawled, heat burning my cheeks.
“I don’t call it out because I care that you’re with two people. It’s not something I could do for myself?—”
I cut him off with a roll of my eyes. “Don’t act like Lincoln isn’t as much a part of your life as Silas is.”
“Platonic and romantic are not the same thing. I have room for both.”
I swallowed hard, knowing he was right but feeling abrasive anyway.
“If you were with someone fresh out of a breakup, I would worry for you. If you were with someone who didn’t understand what it was like to have brothers, I would worry for you.” Marshall grabbed my shoulder, shook me until I looked at him. “If you were with the richest man in the world, the poorest, the smartest, the brightest…there is no circumstance where I wouldn’t worry about you.”
I let out a breath, the anger leaving me.
“That sounds exhausting.”
“That’s part of being…it’s who I am and I wouldn’t change it.”
“I wouldn’t either,” I grumbled, and my oldest brother pulled me into a hug. I was taller than him, and his eyelashes fluttered against my cheek. I reached up and patted the top of his head like he was a child, which earned me a rougher hug before he shoved me away.
“I’m not sorry this is how I am.”
“I’m not either.” I sighed. “I didn’t keep the details from you deliberately. I knew with you working with Sophie that you’d find out eventually. I just wanted it to be mine for a while.”
“It’s yours forever. Or at least as long as you want it.” He paused, grimaced. “I have too many questions that aren’t mine to ask. If you ever want to talk about this…”
“I know where to find you.”
I shoved open the door to the lobby and immediately searched out Daniel. He was near the security desk, phone in his hand even though his attention was anywhere but. When the door creaked open and he saw me, his shoulders sagged with relief.
“I love you, Finn,” Marshall said quietly behind me. “I don’t say it often.”
“I know. I love you too.”
