Page 55 of Set It Right
“I kind of can’t either.” He picked up my hand and held it between his. “I’m glad you finally decided to hang out with me. I was beginning to think you were too cool for me.”
“The opposite. Do you really want to be seen with a lowly freshman when you’re a junior? I’ll destroy your reputation.”
He barked a laugh. “What reputation?”
Right after he’d asked me that, a group of pretty girls walked by, all of them cooing at him. A minute later, a couple guys clapped him on the shoulder and asked him about some party happening this weekend. And a minute or two after that, a guy and girl stopped to ask him about a study group.
My stomach twisted tighter and tighter each time. I wasn’t used to this. Cormac had always been mine during our visits. Sharing him made me feel like a top spinning out of control.
People gravitating toward Cormac made sense. Hands down, he was the most wonderful person I knew. Of course I wasn’t the only one to see it, but my irrational, jealous mind wanted to bundle him up and run away with him so I could have him to myself.
We were supposed to be best friends, but we’d never been a regular part of each other’s lives. Not in person for an extended period. What if he saw right through me? What if everything changed?
My fingers clenched in my lap, and my eyes started to burn. What was this? It wasn’t a good feeling, and I always felt good with Cormac. If things were off or teetering in the wrong direction, he’d always been the one to set it right.
“You should come with me,” he said, knocking me out of my mental spiral.
“Where?”
He looked at me funny. “The party Ben and Cam were talking about. It should be fun.”
Ben and Cam. The guys who’d stopped by a few minutes ago. The ones he’d introduced me to, putting his arm around me and telling them I was his best friend. His Zara. And they’d already known who I was. They had both lit up when he’d said my name. It should have made me feel better. Why hadn’t it made me feel better?
When I didn’t answer, he rushed out, “If you don’t want to be stuck with me all night, you could bring some of your new friends. I’d like to meet them.”
I sucked in a breath, wincing internally at how ragged it sounded. “I’ll let you know. I’m not really sure what’s going on this weekend.”
He slowly nodded. “Right. You might get a better offer.”
I forced a smile. “You never know. I’ve got to keep my options open.”
His laugh sounded just as forced. “Hopefully I’ll make the cut.”
I never made it to the party. Jackson had asked me to go out with him that day in class, and nothing had been the same after that.
My hands balled into fists at my sides. The moon glinted off the weather vane on top of Cormac’s roof. My eyes filled, and my stomach churned with regret.
So much regret.
A tear slid down my cheek, then another. I curled onto my side, clutching a pillow against my middle, and stared at Cormac’s house until my eyes burned.
I should have gone to that party. I should have been brave.
I was so scared of losing him, I’d made it happen.
I had him back now, and I wouldn’t let him slip away again. I didn’t know if we could ever get back to where we were before, but something with Cormac Kelly was better than nothing at all.
Once the dam had burst, I’d become somewhat of a pest. I could admit that. The thing was, when I said I had missed Cormac, I’d meant that down to my very core, where my feelings for him resided.
Cormac was on the phone when I wandered into his office. He raised an eyebrow in question but nodded toward the chair in front of his desk. I sat down, setting my lunch bag in my lap. As he spoke to someone arranging a company retreat, I placed the sandwich I’d made him on his desk and unwrapped mine.
It would have been good manners to wait until he was off the phone to start eating, but I’d led a sunrise hike this morning and was absolutely famished.
Cormac continued talking and typing on his keyboard, throwing me a puzzled glance every once in a while. I liked listening to his professional voice. If I’d been on the other end of it, I would have agreed to sign any contract, sight unseen. He was that smooth and convincing.
By the time he hung up, I’d finished my sandwich and had moved on to peeling a clementine. He picked up the sandwich I’d brought him, waving it back and forth.
“What’s this?”
