Page 109 of Set It Right
“I hope you’re right.”
Because I was beyond done with that part of my life.
Unfortunately, I would never be able to forget my first marriage. I’d learned too many lessons from those years to even want that, but everything else about it—including my ex-husband—I wanted far,farbehind me.
It was the middle of the day when I left Dell’s office, and Sugar Rush was having a lull in customers. Phoebe greeted me with a hug and helped me pick out a muffin while her employee made me a coffee.
We sat together by the front window, and she told me about a club where she and Deke like to go dancing with their friends, inviting Mac and me to join them the next time they went. Through a knot in my throat, I had to tell her it would have to be sooner rather than later, since I was supposed to be leaving in a few weeks.
She didn’t question me on that, but I couldn’t miss the doubt mixed with sadness in her eyes. I was sure the same emotions were in mine too.
It wasn’t just Cormac I’d miss. I’d let myself forget how great a friend Phoebe had been to me, and how warm this town’s embrace was.
As I strolled along Main Street, popping in and out of the cute little shops, my heart ached. It wasn’t just for what I was leaving. I missed my family back in Oregon too. I couldn’t wait to squish myself between Zane and Steven, to get lost in a really good hug from my mom, to feel my dad’s hand on top of my head as he called me his baby girl.
I’d left them once. I’d sacrificed our relationship for a man who had demanded it. Never in words, but subtle shoves that caused me to become further and further adrift from the people who’d always anchored me.
I picked up a postcard in the five-and-dime. It had a picture of the Kelly ranch on it. Cattle dotted the rolling, craggy landscape in front of the mountain looming like a giant in the background. And through the middle ran our river.
It was beautiful. I loved it so much, I could barely stand to look at it in pictures, knowing I would be leaving it soon. Yet it wasn’t the land making my heart crack.
It was him.
Even if Cormac had lived in a concrete jungle or a barren desert, I would feel like I was splitting in two leaving him. I belonged with him. He was who I’d longed for when the summers were over. I might have convinced myself it was our adventures or the places he’d shown me, but at the core of it all, it was him.
If we were going to make this work—and wehadto make it work—eventually, one of us would have to give something up. There was no other option.
I was certain Cormac could find a job anywhere. He was talented and smart. Everyone liked him. And there were countless hotels and resorts in the Portland area. If he came with me, he’d land on his feet, and we’d be together.
And if I asked him, he’d come. I didn’t doubt for a second he would.
But how could I ask him?
He hadn’t asked me to stay. Maybe he didn’t think he had the right to. We were new, but at the same time, decades old. There’d always been an “us.” Our parents had pictures of toddler Mac holding newborn baby me. He was as much a part of me as the marrow in my bones.
My thoughts were filled with every possibility on my way home. Then on my walk by the river. Through cooking dinner and a brief phone call with Cormac, who was spending his evening hanging with Caleb’s family.
Just when I thought my mind was going to explode, Zane called me.
“Hey, you.”
I smiled at my brother’s face. His pretty eyes and achingly familiar smile. “Hello, Zaney. Where’s your other half?”
He crinkled his nose. “Can you believe he joined an indoor soccer league? He’s currently at his first practice. He was nervous about playing with his new friends. It was all kinds of adorable.”
“Aw, everyone loves Steven. I’m sure they’ll be nice to him and pass him the ball.”
Zane’s humor was quickly replaced with a look so sharp it could have cut glass. “They better. Maybe I should have gone and sussed these guys out.”
I laughed. “Steven can handle himself. You can look threatening at his first game.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be there with deadly, spiky bells on.”
I sighed. “Like father, like son.”
Zane lifted his chin. “Can’t help it. I learned from the best.”
“We both did.” I carried my phone outside, plopping down on the Adirondack chair Cormac had stolen from his grandparents’ deck so I’d have a place to sit. “I really miss you guys.”
