Page 107 of Set It Right
So, of course, I had to go and poke at it. I couldn’t let perfection stand without trying to pick it apart to see what was underneath.
“What do you think it would take for you to love me again?”
He went so still, he stopped breathing. “What?”
“I guess that’s probably a silly thing to ask. How could you know? I just…I keep thinking about how I missed it. Something so great, and I had no idea. And the thing is, I don’t know if I was in love with you back then, but I’m pretty much head over heels for you now.”
“Head over heels,” he repeated roughly.
“Yeah.” I continued sliding my fingers through his hair as I blinked up at the sky. “I do love you, Mac. I always have. But I’ve falleninlove with you. I can be patient. I’m not demandinganything from you. But I hope you can get back to the place where you’re in love with me too. If there’s something I can do to reassure you, to help you along, I want to do it. I want you to feel safe falling in love with me again.”
He said nothing for so long, fear rose in my chest. I was certain I’d screwed up irrevocably and he was about to tell me there was nothing I could do or say that would make him feel safe. I was close to launching into orbit when he finally lifted his head and pushed up on his elbow, looking down at me.
His eyes glimmered in the moonlight. “There’s nothing you need to do.”
“Oh.”
He took my chin between his fingers, not allowing me to turn away from him. “Because I do love you, Zara.”
“You do? Again?”
He paused, sucking in a deep breath, his gaze never leaving mine. “Still. Always. It’s never waned. To tell the truth, I haven’t tried very hard for it to. You are the love of my life. That’s just a fact.”
The backs of my eyes burned, and my nose twitched, but I refused to cry. Not now.
“I love you,” I whispered. “Lovelove.”
His exhale was shaky, and his eyelids lowered halfway. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, but Iam.Right here, Maccie. With you. I love you very much.”
His forehead dropped to mine, his warm breath fanning across my lips. “Thank Christ, sweetheart. Everything else is details, as long as we agree on loving each other.”
I circled my arms around his neck, pulling him so most of his weight was on my chest. It made it hard for my lungs to inflate, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him as close as I could get him.
“We agree,” I said softly, my lips next to his ear. “We so agree.”
And since neither of us had put on many clothes after making love earlier, it didn’t take much to get rid of the little we had. Skin on skin, we pressed together, kissing like we had all the time in the world.
And maybe we did.
It might not always look like this. We might live far apart and only have short visits and long phone calls, but if we loved each other this way, distance wouldn’t matter. We could stretch this love a thousand miles then beyond to wrap it around the world if we had to.
I would have welcomed him inside me bare, but Cormac would never take a chance like that. Not with me. He was always so careful with me. So we just kissed and rocked against one another. His mouth never tiring, never becoming sated from mine. He sought me out each time he moved away, again and again.
My slick flesh slid over his swollen length as I held him so tight my muscles trembled. Eyes open, I stared up at the sky I’d missed almost as much as the man in my arms; I’d never experience another moment that would come close to touching this one.
Even if, by all rights, I hadn’t deserved it, his love for me had never died. Knowing that was as heady as it was terrifying. I needed to deserve it now.
“I’ll cradle it,” I said, my lips on his jaw. “I’ll hold it in the palm of my hand.”
Of course he understood me right away.
“You do,” he replied, sucking my earlobe. “You don’t know it, but you always have.”
Tipping my head back, I cupped his cheeks. “I love you and your beautiful heart.”
He shuddered, shoulders going tense. “I don’t know how to hear that yet.”
