Page 102 of Set It Right
I grinned, hope stirring in my gut. “What do you say? Should we keep going like there’s no end in sight? That’s what I choose. I’m no stranger to hard work. I will do it gladly if it means I get to keep you.”
Her lips rolled over her teeth as she nodded.
“Is that a yes? Do you want to give this a real try?”
She nodded again.
I dragged my knuckle along her damp cheek, ending at my favorite freckle. “I want to hear you say it.”
Her words came out wobbly but sure. “Yes, Mac. I’m scared, but there’s no chance I want us to end.”
“I’m scared too,” I admitted. “I think this is it. Our do-over. We have to get it right or…”
“We won’t get another chance.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then do your best, and so will I.”
She huffed a wet laugh. “Bossy.”
“Not usually. I’m pretty protective over us.”
“I am too.” Her palm slid up my cheek, and her eyes opened to meet mine. “I’m protective over younger Cormac who had all these big feelings he couldn’t share. I wish I could go back to hug him and tell him I’m so sorry. Since I can’t, I’ll tell you. Even if you don’t want it, please let me say it.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to object, to tell her there was nothing to be sorry for, but I just nodded, letting her have it.
“I’m sorry, Maccie. I wasn’t a good friend. I could make all kinds of excuses, but that’s what it boils down to.” She pressed firmly against my cheek. “I see you now, and I want to be good to you. I’m terrified long distance is going to be a hellscape, but I never want to give you up, so I’ll walk through it with you.”
“No one else I’d walk through hell with.”
She fell against me, her arms circling my neck. “Hold me, okay?”
“You never have to ask.” I banded my arms around her and buried my nose in her hair, telling myself this was good. I was getting what I’d asked for. We were going to give this a real try.
But the pit of dread in my gut was impossible to fully ignore. Sooner or later, she was going to be a thousand miles away, and I wouldn’t be able to hold her in my arms whenever I wanted.
If I had my way, if I was allowed to be selfish and get exactly what I wanted, she’d stay here come September. We’d face the harsh winter, maybe get snowed in together, and she’d still be here when the ground began to thaw and determined buds pushed up through the unforgiving terrain. And we’d have summer after summer of racing to the river and back.
I didn’t know if any of that would happen, but I was unwilling to give up on the possibility. If two people could do long distance, it was us. We had experience loving each other from afar. Maybe not the same kind of love, but still a love we’d nurtured. And we were older now. So much wiser too.
We could do it. I’d get used to not having her in my arms every minute, and maybe I’d stop missing her popping into my office all hours of the day. As long as I got to hear her voice and know she was mine, I’d make it work.
I had to. The only other option meant losing her forever, and that was no option at all.
A while later, after Zara helped me finish cleaning the kitchen, we both ventured to the market, hand in hand. It was something of a coming out for us. My family had suspected and hinted they’d known something was going on between us, but this was the first time we’d confirmed it. My sisters and grandmother noticed, and their happiness was evident, but they didn’t make a show of it.
We hung around the market, taking turns manning the booth and strolling around to check out the other vendors. Phoebe’s baked goods sold out before it was over and we helped break everything down.
Phoebe grabbed Zara’s hand once we were finished. “You have to come back for the evening concert. Deacon and I are bringing Abigail, and Hannah’s family is coming too.”
Alice raised her hand. “Cay and I will be there. Des is going to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa.”
Zara glanced up at me. “Do you want to?”
“Yep. I do.” I pulled her into my side. “I’m told there’s often dancing at these things.”
Phoebe grinned. “We usually make our own dance floor. It’s always a good time.”
Zara leaned into me. “Then I guess we’ll see you there.”
