Page 13 of Awakening the Beast
I watch his face fall slightly, an almost look of shock and emotion crossing his features. His eyes stay locked on mine as he takes a slow seat beside me, his hand moving to stroke the back of my hair gently.
“You don’t have to do that, baby,” he says softly.
“I know,” I respond, “but I want to. She will always be a huge part of our lives—and Cree's too. I don’t want either of you to ever think she’ll be forgotten while I’m here, because she won’t. I’ll always respect her as Cree’s mom and your wife. She was someone you lost without wanting to, and I know how important she is to you both.”
He suddenly kisses me hard on the mouth, stealing the breath from me. “I don’t fucking deserve you,” he whispers against my lips.
When I open my eyes, I see the tears in his, and I’m relieved he’s happy with the decision. It means something to both of us, to Lumi, and to Cree. We both turn our attention back to Lumi, and I smile as he gently lifts her tiny fist with his large finger.
After what feels like hours of deep sleep, I slowly awaken to the sound of Arlo's deep murmur. Through heavy, tired eyes, I peer around the softly lit room. The morning sun is attempting to peek through the curtains, but I stay still until my gaze finally lands on him. He’s shirtless, his belt fully removed, and his pants hang low on his hips, exposing the band of his black Calvin's and the sharp cut of his V-line.
Lumi is nestled snugly in the crook of his strong, tattooed arm, and he bounces her gently, his eyes locked on her tiny face. She looks so small against his big frame, and I can't help but stare at them, completely in awe to witness this moment.
“Oh, so you’ve finally decided to wake up,” Arlo suddenly speaks, but I soon realize he's speaking to Lumi, not me.
“You're behaving like you did all the work,” he adds, and I bite my lip to stifle a giggle. I watch while he settles into the maternity chair across the room.
He lifts her gently beneath her tiny arms, his tattooed fingers supporting her fragile head. Lumi makes that adorable baby crunch that always melts my heart as Arlo studies her features before letting out a dramatic sigh, tucking her back into his arm and leaning back with his legs spread wide.
“As I thought, you’re exactly like your mom, and you’re going to be the death of me,” he says, an eyebrow raised as he watches her make soft baby noises and presses his fingertip into her tiny palm.
“I know you’re new to the world, but we need to establish some ground rules already,” he continues, and I try to keep a straight face.
“First and foremost, allow me to introduce myself: I’m your daddy, Arlo Hayes, and I’m a nutcase.” I suppress a laugh as he continues, his tone half-serious, half-joking.
“Yes, Lumi, you’ve been cursed with the most overprotective, insane father in the entire world. So take this as a warning: please don’t push me as hard as your mother does. I have a feeling having you as my daughter might land me in jail for a very long time for countless murders.”
Unable to hold it in any longer, I release a small giggle and his dark eyes dart to mine. I flash him a lazy smile as he stands and strides toward me with Lumi nestled in the crook of his arm. When he reaches my side, he pauses, his gaze sweeping over me with concern.
“You good?”
I nod slightly, then shift my focus to Lumi, lifting my arm and gently gliding my fingers over her soft, fuzzy cheek.
“I’m okay. How has she been?” I respond.
He moves Lumi with ease, sliding his hand under her head and then supporting her bottom before settling her on my chest.
“She’s been asleep most of the time, so make the most of her being awake.”
I smile as I cradle her in my arms, her brown eyes wide open and curious while Arlo drapes a blanket over her.
“I should probably head home and grab some things for you both,” he says before continuing. “You’ll probably be here for a few days.”
I meet his gaze, nodding in agreement. “You should also go see Cree. Maybe bring him here with you to meet Lumi. Take my phone and call Sara,” I suggest.
He inhales deeply and stands straighter, but I catch his hand before he walks away. “He’ll be so happy to see you. I just know it,” I assure him softly, watching him carefully.
The tension in his body is clear, and I understand why. I struggled with all of this, his return, but how Cree will react I’m not sure. He lost both parents, and now that his dad has returned, will he think his mom might too? But either way, deep down, I believe Cree will be so happy to see Arlo again regardless.
He leans down and places a gentle kiss on my lips, which I welcome before he presses a tender kiss to Lumi’s tiny head.
“I’ll be back soon,” he murmurs, his tone carrying reassurance.
I nod slightly, watching as he turns away, puts his shirt back on, and heads toward the door. He glances back one last time and gives me a wink that makes my heart flutter.
Once he’s gone, I lay my head back on the pillow, thinking about how supportive he’s been through this entire thing. I knew from the moment we arrived here that I couldn’t let our differences ruin this moment. I didn’t want Lumi’s birth affected by whats happened, so I pushed aside my darker feelings for now. I was scared to face all of this without him, but I’m so thankful he made it back just in time to be with us.
I realize now I’ve been unfair to him. I’ve just been so shocked, confused, and hormonal, but I’m grateful he understands that the healing will take time and that we have a lot to talk about when we’re ready. It’s still so early on, and so much is happening already that I feel overwhelmed. I know I have a lot of work to do regarding my mental health. No one can do that for me, and I need to take responsibility for it—for the sake of this small family of ours.
