Page 78 of Burning Deceptions
Asher chuckled. “It’s crazy, all right.”
“Go on.” I glanced his way when he didn’t immediately elaborate. He’d replaced his hood and walked facing forward with shoulders back.
“What do you say to me bringing Ashley back out to play?”
I laughed long and hard, the sound hitting my ears for the first time in a long while as it echoed around us. “I don’t think our sex life is boring enough to bring out the role-playing quite yet.”
He chuckled with me. “Nor will it ever be boring, but I didn’t mean to bring her into that. I meant another date.”
I grabbed his elbow and pulled him to a stop. “Another date?”
Asher chewed his bottom lip. “I want to go on a date with you.” He darted his eyes around us. “Not that the breakfast and car shows weren’t fun, but I noticed how uncomfortable you were sometimes.”
I dropped my chin and stared at my shoes, awkward around him for the first time. I’d hoped I’d hidden those insecurities better, but obviously not.
Asher bumped my arm with his elbow, keeping to casual when I wished he’d just grab me and force me into his arms so I couldn’t overthink it, couldn’t deny myself what I really wanted as I always had.
“Don’t do that. Don’t hate yourself over it. I’m just saying I noticed, is all. I’m not upset, but I want to give you a bit of freedom, Luke.”
I shook my head, eyes still on the cracked walkway. “No. That’s not freedom. That’s lies. Too many lies, and I’ve had enough of those.”
“Not this time,” he said. “You’d know, and I’d know. It’d be a secret between us. What everyone else saw wouldn’t matter.”
“No.” I shook my head firmly. “No, I’m not going to ask you to do that just because of my issues.”
“You’re not askin’. I’m offerin’.”
“Asher …”
“It’d still be me. Us. And you’d still want inAshley’spanties like you do mine. It’s not a big deal.”
“Yes, it is,” I snapped. “I won’t ask you to hide yourself for me.”
“I’m doin’ that already,” he snapped right back, his words hitting sharper than an arrow. “Fuck.” He huffed and shuffled on his feet. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t …”
“It’s fine,” I muttered through gritted teeth. He had a point, which I didn’t want to admit.
“I don’t want to argue—”
“Then drop it.”
“But I sure as shit will,” he said, accent thickening with his irritation. “It ain’t ‘fine,’ and you ain’t the only one in this.”
“Neither are you,” I pointed out.
Finally, he stepped closer, reaching under my chin and lifting my head. The golden hue of his eyes had returned to the bright yellow ring that made the green stand out more. I gave in and let him do this. I wasn’t sure I could tell him in so many words, but he was my safe space. Fear kept me rooted, but he reminded me how easy it could be.
“Just listen, okay? Let’s try it. At least once and see how it goes.”
I shook my head, but it was halfhearted at best.
“I want to be out with you. I hate it when you watch everyone else, just waiting for someone to notice we’re together. I don’t mind being Ashley. It was kind of fun, and you know the truth now. That’s all that matters.”
“Asher.”
“Please? One date. A test.”
“This is a crazy idea.”
