Page 20 of Burning Deceptions
I tried. I so fucking tried. The closest I could muster was drunk dancing with women in college.
Look at me, such a deviant.
That life would never have worked for me, though. I lived vicariously through William and met Mother’s matchmaking with cool respect but a cold heart. Women deserved to be loved as much as they were willing to love in return. I never wanted to lead anyone on, making them think they could find a soulmate within me. If they could tolerate me as equally as I tolerated them, perhaps I could marry as Mother wanted.
Obviously, that woman hadn’t been unearthed yet.
A man had, though. Funny, charming, sweet, lively, teasing, effortless in every gesture and smile, Asher drew me in, even as a woman, because he was that potent.
Jesus, make up your mind. Do I hate him or not?
“We might be, but my future mistress isn’t,” William said.
I was startled out of my thoughts. What had we been … Oh, the club.
“You really want to take on two women?” I asked and sipped from my lowball.
“At least.” William half turned, placing the room at his back. We’d had this discussion several times, but we’d been younger then. At an age when anything was possible. “Look at our parents.”
While he paused, I did just that. Mothers were on one side of the room, fathers on the other, with their children spread among them. The old generation and the new following the same tired traditions as the long-gone ones.
“You think they’re happy?”
I blinked. No, but perhaps united in misery?
“Marriage is a business deal. Simple as that. I don’t plan on cheating on my future wife.” When I lifted a brow, he went on. “It won’t be cheating because she’ll know up front. I don’t expect her to be faithful to me either.”
Could I do the same? Would I? Marry to appease my family, then keep someone on the side. Find happiness in a secret. Live an entire clandestine life.
“Sounds like a lot of work,” I said out loud, but more to myself.
William shrugged and faced the room once more. “Could be worth it.”
I sighed and poured another round. “Don’t think I share the sentiment. I’ve grown too fond of my solitary life. If anything, I’d keep a separate apartment just to get away from my wife, but not to run into the arms of another.”
“Damn. You’ve got the libido of a dead man.”
I snorted into my glass. “Perhaps.”
He slung an arm over my shoulders. “And because of it, you’re the best wingman ever. Come to the club with me. If nothing else, help me get laid.”
“You don’t need help.” I pushed his arm off.
“Fine. Make me say it, why don’t you. I just want to hang out with my best friend.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s more fun when you’re around.”
I lowered my brows and pursed my mouth. Me? Fun?
“Fuck, you’re in a mood.” William scanned the room, then pointed with his glass and nodded his head. “I get it. Georgina, huh? She’d be a quiet mouse for you.”
“Or you.”
“Nah. She wouldn’t be the type to understand the arrangement I plan on making. Then I’d feel bad about it.Thenit’d feel like cheating for sure.”
At least he had a moral compass, even if it didn’t point north.
Ah, fuck. I shouldn’t cast shame. That would be Mother’s doing. My best friend was a grown man and, by the sounds of it, had his mental shit together more than I.
The rest of the evening passed as it always did. I played my part while others did the same. The game was disgusting, but I wouldn’t embarrass my family. When the first guests left, I said my goodbyes and took my leave shortly after them.
