Page 2 of Burning Deceptions
“Time the fuck out,” I screamed and jumped between them, stumbling a bit when the dress forced my legs together. How in the hell did women move in these things? “Y’all gonna ask me if I wanna parade around in public like this?”
“No,” they said as one. Then Savannah added, “Come on, Ash. You know you’d win me that money.” She leaned in. “I’ll split it with you.”
“Oh, I ain’t doubtin’ you. If I were the judge here, then I’d say you won. But I can’t go out like this and try to convince some guy I’m a girl. There’s a word for it. I can’t think of it right now, but it’s bad juju.”
“Okay then.” Morgan straightened and glared at Savannah. “If he goes and ain’t convincin’ enough to at least one guy, then I’ll split my winnin’s with him.”
“What on earth is goin’ on—Ash?”
The three of us turned as Aunt Penny stopped right inside Savannah’s doorway. She eyed me up and down—maybe because I was in her dress—then hid her mouth behind her fingers but couldn’t hide the snort of laughter that came next.
“Momma.” Savannah stamped her foot and whined. “It ain’t funny. Don’t you think Asher could pass as a girl?”
Aunt Penny was one of my favorite aunts, and I had a shit ton of them to choose from. Growing up, I’d run off to her house to escape the ruckus that was my own more times than I could remember. As fortune would have it, she’d moved north near Birmingham a couple of years back. With me at Cressmann University this year, I was close enough to the comforts of her house once again.
With a narrowed, assessing stare, Aunt Penny walked around me, while I tried not to squirm. Savannah made me put on a pair of black pantyhose and heels with the dress. The shoes I didn’t mind, but what she hadn’t mentioned was how uncomfortable the stockings were or that they’d make the hair on my legs all weird.
“Honestly, and I’m sorry, Asher, but you are a very pretty woman,” Aunt Penny said.
“Ha!” Savannah stuck her tongue out at Morgan.
“Still don’t mean shit. He’s gotta convince someone who doesn’t know him.”
“He does, does he?” I asked, but now I had three sets of eyes invested in this sham.
“Ashy. Ashy.” Serena, Savannah’s youngest sister, ran into the room. We really needed to close that fucking door. “Ashy’s pretty.” She beamed at me before reaching out with her candy-stained fingers.
“Oh no you don’t, heathen.” Aunt Penny snatched her back before she could ruin the dress.
Serena turned innocent eyes to her momma. “Is Ashy tryin’ to catch a man?”
“Yes, he is, baby girl,” Savannah said.
“No way.” Morgan shook his head.
Aunt Penny and Serena watched me until I finally threw my hands in the air. “Fine. Great googly fuck. What is this thing I’m goin’ to?”
“Eeeeee!” Savannah squealed.
And that was how I got wrangled into doing a lot of things that involved my extended family. Someone had an argument, a bet, or even a strongly worded discussion, and who became the deciding factor? Yours truly.
Three days after what was later called “the trial run,” the actual event I was supposed to whore myself out to arrived. Thankfully, it was a Halloween party for a children’s charity, so if worse came to worst, I could claim it was a costume.
Technically, the only thing on me that wasn’t an everyday kind of item was the tiny devil horns Savannah put in my hair. The rest of it was, well, me in drag, I reckoned. Tonight would be, uh, entertaining at the least. Either no one could tell, and I’d have the biggest internal laugh ever, or everyone would know, and I’d still have the biggest laugh, but probably much later, like after hours of therapy.
Savannah met me in the parking lot of this highfalutin venue. She’d had to “do me up” earlier in the day, then left me to get dressed with Aunt Penny’s help so she could be here to do her own costume and those for the event.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked, adjusting the choker Aunt Penny added to help hide my Adam’s apple.
“Yes, I’m sure. You think I’d stake a hun’erd dollars on it if I wasn’t?”
Good point.
“I’m surprised you walk so well in those heels.” Savannah grinned and winked.
“Shut up. It’s not that hard.” And instant karma, my ankle twisted slightly, and I had to reach for her arm for support. “Uh, mostly not hard.”
This time around, I’d shaved my legs. No one would ever know about that. I probably wouldn’t even tell Jamie, and he and I shared everything. The stockings fit much better this way, though. Thankfully, the dress hit below the knee because I didn’t think I had girlie knees.
