Page 96 of Saved By A God
“It wasn’t yours, either.”
Her fingers curl into my shirt, and for a few seconds, neither of us moves.
Then I lean back enough to see her face. “Why the hell did you go to that club to lose your virginity?”
A watery laugh escapes her, but there’s no humor in it. “Because I was young and stupid.” She lets out a shaky breath. “I just… I wanted to know what sex was like, and I thought if I went somewhere anonymous, it would be okay.”
My heart squeezes in my chest.
“I didn’t think it would be some big life-changing thing,” she admits. “I thought it would be easier with a stranger. No feelings. No expectations.”
“But it was me,” I murmur.
She nods, her face too fucking pale. “It was you.”
I wipe the tears from her cheeks. “And afterward?”
“Afterward, I wished it had happened differently.” Her voice cracks as she keeps her eyes on my chest. “I wished I’d waited.”
I frame her face with my hands and nudge her until she finally meets my eyes before I say, “You deserved so much better than that room.”
Her chin trembles. “I know.”
“You deserved someone looking you in the eyes and making damn sure you knew you were safe and taken care of.”
A breath quivers over her lips.
“And I hate that I didn’t give you that.” I shake my head, then ask, “Is this why you panicked yesterday when I told you I love you?”
She nods, and her eyebrows draw together. “I wanted to rip the damn tattoo off my back. I’ve waited so long to hear those words from you, and one stupid night ruined it all.”
“Nothing is ruined,bella mia.”
Her eyes search mine. “You don’t hate me?”
My head jerks back. “No,” I rasp. “Never.”
Her mouth trembles, and I lean down, pressing my mouth to her forehead before pulling her back into my embrace.
I’m sure as fuck not going to let a night from years ago come between us. Maybe I would’ve reacted differently if I had found out before Rosie was taken, but everything changed after I almost lost her.
When she stops trembling, I pull back so I can look into her eyes and say, “I love you, Rosie.”
A chuckle bursts over her lips, and finally, happiness bursts over her face, and it’s so strong it chases the shadows from her eyes.
“Are you sure?” she asks. “This isn’t because I was gone and you –”
I press my finger to her lips, stopping the rest. “I’ve always loved you,bella mia.I was just too much of a dumbass to do anything about it.” My voice turns rougher as I hold her gaze. “I was so scared of losing you that I kept myself from having you, and all I did was waste the time we should’ve had together. Losing you didn’t make me love you. It made me stop pretending I could live without you.”
Rosie starts blinking faster, and for a moment she just stares at me, then she whispers, “Oh wow. That’s romantic.”
She actually looks like she’s in shock.
When I brush my hands over her shoulders, I feel how cold she is and snap, “Get dressed right now. Something warm.” I walk to the door and add, “Then come down to the kitchen. We’ll talk some more while I make you an early dinner.”
“Okay.”
Giving her privacy, I head down to the kitchen. I stop by the island and press my hand to my chest. My eyebrows lift as the realization strikes again.
