Page 18 of Saved By A God
“I’m so fucking done with everything.” The words come out quiet and broken.
Fear rushes through me, and forgetting about his boundaries, I move closer. “What does that mean?”
“No more women.” Enzo swallows hard before sucking in a rough breath. “No dating. No sex. No putting myself in situations where this can happen again.” His jaw clenches as he looks at me. “The only women I’ll allow close to me are my mother and sisters.”
My fear turns into panic at the thought of losing him. “And me?”
Enzo stares at me long and hard, and with every passing second, I become certain he’s going to push me away and end our friendship.
“You,” he whispers. “You’re the heart of the Cosa Nostra. You handle everything, so we have to work together, but…”
I slowly shake my head, giving him a pleading look. “Please don’t push me away.”
Enzo rubs his palm over his face again. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
The instant he steps in my direction, I dart forward. When I finally get to hold him, sobs burst from me, and I grip him as if my very life depends on it.
“You have to promise me…” he groans, his breaths exploding in my hair. “Promise me that you will never let me hurt you, and if I do, cut all ties with me.”
Never.
“Promise me, Rosie,” he begs.
“I promise I’ll never turn my back on you.”
He shakes his head and pushes me away from him.
Wanting to get through to him, I say, “There is nothing you can do that will make me walk away from you. Our friendship is one of the most important things in my life, and it means sticking together through thick and thin.” There is so much regret in my chest, it feels suffocating because twice I’ve been responsible for hurting Enzo. “You were put in situations against your will. That’s on the women.”On me. “Not on you.”
“And what about you.” His eyes lift to mine again.
God. I never meant for any of this to happen and wish I could turn back time.
My mind races, and I finally latch onto something. “How many times has one of the guys thrown one of the women in the pool at a barbecue or party?” I wave an arm through the air. “Every single one of you has dunked me at some point. I’m the one who inhaled the damn water. That’s not on you.”
I’m the one who didn’t check who the man was and didn’t divulge my virginity. I thought it wouldn’t matter.
God, I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.
Closing the distance between us, I frame his clenched jaw with my hands and stare into his troubled eyes. “You are the most amazing man on the face of this planet, Enzo. You areso caring and protective of everyone you love. You’re loyal to a fault, and you show up every single time someone needs you.” I shake my head, giving him another pleading look. “You make people feel safe. You’d give up your own happiness if it meant protecting someone you care about.” Some of the darkness retreats in his eyes, and it spurs me on to keep going. “You’re brave, even when you’re terrified. You take responsibility for things that aren’t even your fault.”
I brush my thumb over the rough stubble on his jaw. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, even if you believe otherwise.”Please hear me.“You care so deeply that it hurts you when someone else is suffering. You put everyone before yourself, and you never ask for anything in return.”
Lifting onto my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him tight. “I trust you, and there is nowhere I feel safer than when I’m with you.”
Enzo returns the embrace, and just as I think I got through to him, he whispers, “I wish I was the man you see.”
“You are.”
He pulls away again and walks toward the door. “Unlock the elevator so I can go clean your apartment.”
Glad that he’s not leaving the building, I enter the code and grab my phone and the central remote before joining him in the elevator. I scan my biometrics so we can go to the seventh floor.
When my lips part, Enzo shakes his head at me, his voice hollow as he says, “I’m done talking, Rosie.”
The doors open and he stalks into my home. For the next two hours, I sit on the couch and watch as he cleans every surface.
When he finally drops down on the other couch, letting out an exhausted sigh, I get up and crouch in front of him. I can feel his eyes on me while I remove his boots.
