Page 47 of The Nanny Game Plan
We’re all beaming, bouncing, laughing, hugging, and kissing. Somehow, I retain enough self-awareness to keep the kisses confined to the girls’ heads, their cheeks, and then Bella’s belly as I lift her to blow a raspberry on her tummy to make her laugh even harder, but for a second there…
For a second, I’m tempted to wrap an arm around Clover, pull her in, and show her how much I’ve missed the feel of her. The taste of her.
I still dream about the way she sighed into my mouth every fucking night.
I still take myself in hand in the shower to thoughts of her coming on my fingers, her wetness hot on my skin. Still mourn the fact that I’ll never feel her drenching my cock with an intensity I know isn’t healthy.
And yes, I’ll likely be back in the “Fucking your Nanny Isn’t on the Table, and Neither is Falling in Love with Her” despair pit by tomorrow morning, but for now…
Now, I’m still flying high as I tell her, “You have to come celebrate with us. We’re going to Packy’s Pizza.”
She laughs. “The place with the talking elephant and the video games?”
I beam and nod. “Yeah. The whole team is coming.” I grin down at Ava and Bella. “The guys want to play Skee-Ball until they win enough tickets to get the girls a giant Packy stuffy to take home.”
“Yay!” Ava cheers, bouncing with excitement beside me as Bella gasps in happiness too intense for squeals. “I love Skee-Ball! And Packy’s cotton candy! Can we get cotton candy, Daddy?”
“You sure can,” I say. “And you can stay up until ten o’clock.”
Bella’s eyes get even bigger. “Oh my gosh. I’m like a grown-up now.”
Clover laughs. “You are, but I’m afraid, I am not. I really should get home and get some sleep. But you guys have so much fun and be sure to?—”
“Please,” I say, taking her hand, fighting to ignore the electricity that flows up my arm the second her fingers brush mine. “This meant so much to me. The sign, and that you took off work with your band to bring the girls to the game. Really. I’d like to say thank you by buying you pizza and beer. And you don’t have to watch the girls or anything while we’re there. I’ll look after them. You can just…have fun. Play Skee-Ball. Eat cheesy garlic bread. Whatever.”
“And eat cotton candy because it’s the best cotton candy. Even better than at the circus,” Ava adds in a wheedling whisper that makes Clover laugh again.
But it’s a breathier sound, and her eyes stay locked on mine as she nods. “Okay. In that case, I’d love to come. I’m so glad you liked the sign. The girls and I worked really hard on it.”
“I loved the sign,” I say, my throat tight again. “So much.”
“Good,” she says, seeming a little choked up, too. “For a second there, I was worried. You had man tears.”
I huff out a laugh. “Yeah. But they were happy man tears. Lucky man tears.” I kiss Bella’s cheek again as I hug Ava closer to my side. “This wouldn’t have been half as good without you guys here to share it with me. Thank you so much for coming and cheering and being my family. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” Ava says, as Bella hugs my neck, declaring, “I have the best Daddy!”
“Be right back,” Clover says, backing across the room. She waves a hand as she goes, calling, “Just need to hit the ladies’ before we leave! Too much lemonade!”
“Okay, we’ll wait for you here,” I assure her, turning back to Bella as she pats my cheeks with both hands. “Yes, my lady?”
“Daddy, can we play the basketball game at Packy’s, too?” she asks. “And will you help me like last time? Hold me up high so I can throw the ball in good?”
I nod. “I sure will. I can’t wait.”
And I can’t.
It’s a special night, a night for celebration, and I can’t help but feel like something is shifting in the air. Changing for the better. The girls are a long way from the grieving “finish line,” if there even is such a thing, but they’re getting stronger every day.
Clover’s helping them so much. She’s helping me, too.
She’s helping me realize that I’mnotfrozen inside. I’m still alive, still capable of love, longing, and connection, and maybe…
I shut down the thought, concentrating on reintroducing the girls to Mimi, Grammercy’s stepdaughter, who’s clearly as thrilled about the Packy’s Pizza plan as they are. She’s a few years older than Ava, but the sweetest kid, and goes out of her way to make the girls feel like friends. After introducing them to her baby sister, a ridiculously happy little girl with Grammercy’s wife, Elly’s, eyes and his dimpled grin, they run to the window to watch the fireworks exploding over the city.
“Are they for you, Daddy?” Bella asks as we join them.
I grin. “No. They’re practicing for the Super Bowl, I think. It’s tomorrow.”
