Page 49 of The Nanny Game Plan
It would never work. Never. I’m not mother material. I’m the nanny! I’m the cool auntie, the kind who will take Beatrice’s baby, Charlie, to her first all-ages rock show when she’s fourteen, and make sure she knows how to make a boy put on a condom the right way when she’s a little older.
And maybe I can do the same for Ava and Bella someday, too. Maybe years from now, I can be an auntie figure in their lives—long after my paid caregiver days are over, and time has made the memory of the crush I had on their dad seem silly and quaint.
Maybe…
But right now, it doesn’t feel silly. Or quaint. And the thought of spending the night playing games and drinking beer and laughing with Dean and the girls while pretending I don’twant to kiss his fucking face off doesn’t sound fun. It sounds dangerous! I can’t be trusted around Dean with alcohol in my system. That’s why I haven’t bought a single six-pack or bottle of wine since moving into his place.
But fuck, I could use a beer. I really could.
“One beer,” I warn my reflection. “One beer, two slices of pizza, and then home in a cab before nine.”
Yes. I can do that, I decide as I duck into a stall to pee.
And if I feel too tempted by Dean, I can find someone else to hang out with. I won’t be on the clock, after all. Beatrice and Blue won’t be there—they’re still on baby leave—but I’m pretty close with Charlotte, and I’m sure she’s coming. And some of the new girls hanging around the waiting room looked nice enough, not to mention closer to my age.
Hell, maybe I can stop being a weirdo who only hangs out with people ten years her senior, make friends who are also in their twenties, and learn to live a little again!
Like I’ve summoned them with my thoughts—or perhaps, my urine stream—giddy laughter sounds from outside the door, followed by a whoosh as it opens and high heels clack across the tile. The laughter continues as three pairs of new-girlfriend-style stilettos line up at the mirror.
“I’m just saying, if I have to eat Packy’s Pizza for dinner instead of the steak I was promised, I expect to be compensated,” a breathy voice lisps. “You guys have to help me hook up with someone while we’re there. Anyone. As long as he’s hot. If I can’t have steak, I’m going to need dick. Like…ASAP.”
My eyes widen.
Well, then.
She’s not being shy about laying it out there, is she?
But when you think about it, steak and dickdohave a lot in common. Both very meaty and…satisfying in various ways.
“Oh, shut up, Dawn,” one of the other girls says. “You’ve only been single for what? Three weeks?”
“And that’s two weeks too long to go without dick, Leelee,” Dawn maintains, making the others giggle. “I’m a very sexual person. Besides, Jason is already dating someone else. I have to get a photo of me and a hottie up on my socials before he thinks I’m like actually sad about the breakup or something.”
“You totally do,” a third, slightly clogged-sounding voice says. “He is so stuck on himself. If anyone needs to be taken down a notch, it’s Jason. I can’t stand that jerk.” She snorts. “Shit, I probably shouldn’t have said that, should I? I’ve had too many margaritas. Just don’t get back together with him, okay? He sucks, and you can dosooomuch better.”
“So much,” Leelee agrees. “And I know just the guy. A sexy silver fox who will know exactly what to do with a horny little mess like you.”
“Oh, yeah? Who? Tell me!” Dawn bounces in excitement, her heels clicking on the tile.
“The Zaddy on the Jumbotron, obvi, the one celebrating eleven hundred games,” Leelee says, making my stomach sink. “A guy like that, withthatbody, but a little gray at the temples? He’s not only going to know how to get the job done, but he’s going to be grateful for the chance to do it, you know?”
My entire body flushes hot as they giggle again. I really wish I weren’t trapped on this toilet, too embarrassed to flush and make a run for it for fear these three will know I’ve been eavesdropping in the stall.
I alsoreallydon’t like hearing their plans for Dean.
My Dean.
No, notmyDean. My boss. My boss, who hasn’t been laid in a long time and might actually appreciate the chance to go home with Dawn. He can’t, obviously, since he’s watching the girls tonight and has to take them home after pizza, but that doesn’tmean he can’t arrange a rain check situation with a hot younger woman.
He likes hot younger women, after all.
Does he? Really? Or did he just like you, before you both thought better of it?
Before I can answer that question, Dawn says, “I mean, yeah, he’s fucking gorgeous, but isn’t he married? Those two cuties with the sign were his, right? And wasn’t that his wife? The tall brunette with the curls?”
One of the others hums low in her throat. “No, that’s like…the babysitter, I think. Or the nanny. Whatever. She’s not with him. From what I could glean from the gossip, he’s newly divorced, and his wifediedon the way to her honeymoon with another man, leaving him with the kids.”
They all coo in sympathy and what sounds like a hint of delight.
