Page 81 of The Curveball
I take another few seconds to answer, fighting the onslaught of memories. Most of them happy, but some of them are not.
“When Blair was little, she thought forever wasn’t long enough. She said we needed to love each other five-ever, especially since there weren't four of us in the family, there were five.”
“I love that,” Sage murmurs, her hand coming to the back of my neck, where she strokes the skin softly.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, well. After our parents died, she kept saying it. And one day, I was so mad about something. Fuck, I don’t even remember what it was. Anyway, I told her we weren’t a family of five anymore, so she should stop saying it.”
Sage’s hand stills for a second before resuming.
“I should never have said that. She was just a kid, and I was meant to be the one to take care of her, not makeher feel even worse. She didn’t say it for a long time, but when she started again, I just remember feeling so relieved. Like it was a sign she didn’t hate me. We talked about it in therapy, and she said it was never just about the size of our family, but about the size of our love for each other. And that didn’t change just because we lost Mom and Dad.”
“She’s a very smart girl,” Sage says softly.
I nod. “And a very forgiving one, thank God.”
“Grief does strange things to us. It can make us say and do things we don’t mean, because we’re trying to protect our own feelings from being hurt further. But it also makes us realize just how precious life is. And that means we know how important it is to forgive, and we learn how to love more deeply than ever before.”
She looks down at her belly, one hand resting there and the other drifting up to her shoulder.
I know she’s thinking about her mother. I want to give her privacy for this grief. But I don’t. Because I’m not going to lose her by being afraid toloveher.
That thought has me pulling over to the side of the road. As soon as I’m parked, I turn and unbuckle our seatbelts before pulling her into my arms.
Holding her as she holds our family.
32
BRADY
She hasn’t said anything,but I can tell Sage is nervous about today. We’re in the homestretch of this pregnancy, and at today’s midwife appointment, we’re going to be discussing a birth plan with Enid.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize Sage doesn’t like plans. Why would she when she’s had so many things happen in her life that have upended whatever plans she had made?
The thing is, I’m nervous too.
In a matter of weeks, there’s going to be a tiny human here who will be fully dependent on me and Sage for survival. A baby. My baby.
“Good morning,” Enid says cheerfully as she walks into the room where Sage and I are waiting. “How’s everyone doing?”
“Fine, tired, but I guess that’s normal. And I could do without it being so hot,” Sage grumbles as Enid checks her blood pressure.
“You and every other mama to be,” Enid agrees. “The heat is hard on pregnant women. Make sure you’re staying hydrated and cool as much as possible. Even putting your feet in some cool water will help you to be more comfortable.”
Sage nods. “I’ve only got two more weeks on the schedule at work, and they’re all shorter day shifts, so that’ll be good. I’m trying to nap when I can, but it’s hard to get comfortable.”
Enid touches her arm comfortingly. “There’s not much I can say to make you feel better, except that you’re not alone. The end of pregnancy is very trying for everyone.” Then she turns to me. “I’m sure Brady is doing what he can to help?”
“Absolutely. He’s been wonderful,” Sage says, smiling at me.
I lean over and kiss her cheek. “It’s not easy watching you suffer. I wish there was more I could do.”
“Well, there will be plenty for you to do to support her during labour and delivery. Shall we discuss birth plans now, or after we take a listen to your little one?”
Sage reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. “Um, I don’t know?” She turns to me, her eyes pleading with me to make the decision.
I muster up what I hope is a confident smile. “Let’s hear our baby girl first.”
Sage’s lips barely curve up, but it’s enough to sense her relief. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
