Page 54 of Hate To Want You
“I’m yours.”
The rough truth in my reply hovers between us. I never thought I’d say that to someone ever again, but here I am, ready to give her everything.
“Heidi,” I start, my thumbs stroking over her cheeks. Desire and lust pulse in the air around us, but everything else is frozen in time. It’s just us. And three more words I suddenly need to say. Immediately.
“I love you.”
She lifts her hands from my chest and wraps them around my wrists, turning to press a kiss into each of my palms. When she finally meets my eyes again, I see the sparkle of tears.
“I love you, too. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but I do.”
Heidi must see the slight frown flash over my face because she shakes her head, and those tears spill free, tracking down her beautiful face to her tremulous smile. My thumb wipes them away as I force my nervous heart to wait for her to clarify.
“I don’t mean it’s unbelievable that I loveyou. You’re the most amazing man, Max. Despite how we started and what you might think, you’re easy to fall for, easy to love. I just meant, after Thad, I told myself I was giving up on love. At least until school and residency was over and my life was settled. I didn’t want to tie myself to another person and risk losing everything I’ve worked for. But you don’t take anything from me I don’t want to give. You stand beside me and push me to be better instead of holding me back.”
Her arms snake around my waist and she hugs me tightly, her head coming to rest under my chin.
“You’re making me redefine what I thought a partner could be, in the best possible way. So yes, I love you. And I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to say that, and to know that you feel the same way.”
God, she’s so fucking sweet. A part of me still lingers on this fear that I’ll taint her somehow. That being with me will end in pain for one or both of us. But in this moment, I don’t give a shit. All I care about is being with the woman I love.
Slowly — slower than I think I’ve ever been with her — I guide her arms up so I can lift her shirt over her head, revealing her porcelain skin. Dipping my head down, I kiss my way across the swell of one breast, then over to the other, infusing her skin with everything spoken and unspoken between us.
The desperate passion that’s normally present is gone, and in its place is a desire to worship her, revere her, and love her.
I reach behind her, turn on the shower, then return to my mission of uncovering every inch of her. I drop into a crouch as I slide her shorts down over the curve of her hips, leaving nothing but a triangle of lace covering her. Leaning in, I deeply breathe in her scent.
“Beautiful.”
Suddenly, her hands are under my armpits and Heidi’s pulling me up to stand, her fingers fumbling with the button on my shorts.
“I need younow.”
And just like that, the urgency is back. Clothes fly all over and we can’t stop kissing everywhere our lips reach. We stumble under the hot spray of water, letting it cascade down between us. I spin us so that her back is to the wall, then lift her hips and press into her. Heidi responds instantly, wrapping her legs around my waist, her nails scraping along my scalp as our tongues tangle together.
“Is this what you want? You need me to take you right here against the wall, claim you as mine?”
“Yes,” she cries out as I begin to thrust my hips forward, pressing her harder against the tile wall. My dick is sliding back and forth, so close to where I want to be. But in our desperation, we made a critical mistake.
“Damn it. Condom.”
Heid grabs my head, forcing me to look into her wild eyes. “I want to feel you inside me, Max. All of you.”
My body freezes. I’ve never gone bare with a woman. Ever. But now that she’s planted the idea in my head, all blood has rushed south, and my cock is throbbing with need. “Are you sure?” I grind out, holding myself perfectly still. She’s amped up from desire. I need to know this is really what she wants.
Heidi’s gaze softens, and she tucks a piece of hair back, wiping away the water that is still pouring down our faces. “Yes. I’m sure. I trust you.”
It only takes the slightest adjustment to line myself up, and then, with an exquisite control that hides the desperation I feel, I slide into her hot wet heat. My forehead falls to her shoulder as my arms shake. Not from holding her up, but from the pure pulsing pleasure I’m experiencing from being bare inside of her.
“Heidi,” I groan, biting down on her shoulder as I slowly start to rock my hips back and forth. She’s peppering kisses all over me, murmuring words I can’t make out over the pounding of my own heartbeat in my head. “This is going to be fast,” I gasp as I feel her clench around me. “Fuck. Babe. God, you feel like heaven. Like home. Like everything good.” I draw back, then slam back in, earning a garbled cry. “Heidi. Mine.” I do it again. And again. Until she’s tightening around me, and my own orgasm is rushing through me, and I’m spilling inside of her as our cries of pleasure echo in the steamy air.
“Sweetheart, if you don’t stop looking at me like that, we’ll miss our dinner reservation,” I mutter under my breath, hoping the other couple standing in front of us in the elevator doesn’t hear me.
Heidi’s soft yet sultry giggle only makes matters worse, and I try to discreetly adjust myself. Not easy in the slacks I’m wearing. When we decided to go out for dinner, I made a few calls and got us into one of Vancouver’s hottest restaurants. But we have to be there in twenty minutes, and it’s at least a fifteen-minute walk from the hotel. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to get ready just so I didn’t strip the lacy number Heidi put on under her dress right off her.
As it is, I’m not sure how I’ll manage to get through an entire meal knowing what my dessert will be.
“I can’t help it. You know how I feel about your shirts,” she whispers back, her hand sliding down from its respectable position on my waist to squeeze my ass.
