Page 43 of Hate To Want You
She tilts her head to the side, a worried furrow to her brow. “You shouldn’t be alone tonight, Max. Teagan was special to you.”
I draw in a ragged breath. “Yeah, she was.”
“Can I be with you tonight?” she asks quietly. And there is only one answer.
“Yes. Please.” Her lips find my forehead, then my cheek, then my lips. “Heidi,” I say hoarsely, pulling her back in for a deeper, more intense kiss. “I can’t promise anything. But tonight, I need you.”
“I know,” she says against my lips. “I need you, too.”
I groan into her mouth once more, my hands tangling in her hair. Voices in the hall outside the stairwell force us apart.
“Tonight.”
Her tongue darts out to lick her lips. “Tonight.”
Chapter twenty
Heidi
I pull up to Max’s apartment building and turn my car off but make no move to get out just yet.
The silence is deafening.
I know why I’m here tonight, and it has nothing to do with any romantic notion about Max and I taking our relationship to the next level. Whatever happens tonight is between two people who need a release, who need a way to process the incredibly heavy emotions that lingered like dark clouds over our entire shift.
When he told me how he normally spends his nights after a patient loss, my heart broke for him. Of course, losing a patient would hit hard for someone who almost lost their father. I’m grateful he got some help, but that doesn’t mean his coping strategy is the healthiest. For some reason, Max doesn’t seem to think he deserves a partner — in anything. It makes me wonder about his family. I know he’s got siblings, and I always assumed they were close. But if so, then why does he hold himself back from everyone at work? Did someone in his past really fuck him up that much emotionally, scar him so permanently that he’s resigned himself to a life alone?
My phone vibrates on the seat next to me, and I glance over to see his name. Picking it up, I open the message and huff out a short laugh.
MAX: I can see you thinking from here, Morgan. If you’re having second thoughts, just go. I promise it won’t change anything between us. But if you’re planning on coming in, then get that perfect ass out of the car.
My face heats. First, because he caught me overthinking everything, and second, due to the comment about my ass. I’m suddenly realizing tonight might be the night I learn just how dirty Max Donnelly can be.
And that’s what makes me get out of the car. I look up, and several stories in the sky, I see the silhouette of a man looking out a window, and I shiver. I’d know the cut of that torso anywhere; the image is permanently imprinted on my mind ever since the day at the hot springs.
As soon as I get to the front door, I hear the telltale buzz of it unlocking. He’s definitely watching. And waiting.
Knowing that sends a wave of wet heat between my legs, and I clench them together.
The elevator takes forever, or at least it feels like it does. I suppose anticipation makes everything seem longer than it really is. When the doors finally open on Max’s floor and he’s got one arm up leaning against the opening, my sharp intake of breath causes a dark smirk to cross his face.
He reaches out and pulls me from the elevator car, straight into his arms, his mouth crashing into mine right there in the hallway. His hands lower to my ass and squeeze tightly as he growls into our kiss.
“Perfect.”
We stumble to what I assume is his apartment. As soon as we’re inside, Max spins me around to face the now locked door and lifts my hands up over my head, his nose running down the column of my neck.
“Are you sure you want this?”
His voice is quiet, and I know he’s asking me to confirm my consent, but I can hear how close he is to the edge. How flimsy his hold on his control is right now. And the thought that I’m the cause of that, of Max Donnelly letting loose, is the thing that erases any lingering doubt in my mind.
“I want this. I want you.”
Six words are all it takes to light an inferno.
Max’s hands go to the hem of my shirt, and it’s lifted up and off, all while I’m still facing the door. His hands travel down my sides, coming to my pants. The entire time he’s undressing me, his lips are moving over every bare inch of skin, kissing, sucking, nipping, and licking his way across my body.
“Do you even know how fucking hot you are? The madness you inspire in my head with your beauty?” he rumbles against my skin in between presses of his lips. “You stunned me that first day. Fucking stunned me. I’d wanted you before but couldn’t have you because someone else did. But then, there you were. And even more beautiful than before. The fire in you now, it’s fucking hot, Heidi. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for months.”
