Page 12 of Hate To Want You
Well, shit.
“You’re wanted here,” I say, forcing the words out. It’s only a partial falsehood. Everyone else wants her here; I’m the only idiot whose personal issues are clouding their judgment. She made the right call tonight, and she deserves to know it. “You did well tonight, Dr. Morgan.”
She’s good, I’ll admit. I only see shock colour her face for a bare second before she schools her features into a haughty expression.
“Thank you.”
I watch as she pivots on her heel and walks away. It leaves me with my gut churning, feeling like I’m digging myself a hole so deep, I may not be able to climb out of it.
Chapter six
Heidi
I can’t believe I said that to him. I can’t believe I told Max that I was looking at other job opportunities because ofhim.
I slam the door to the residents’ lounge shut and start pacing the small room.
I hate that he gets to me like that. I hate that he makes me feel like I need to defend myself when IknowI did everything right. I hate that he’s changed from the friendly doctor I knew into this utter jerk, but only with me. I hate that, yet again, a man is making me question my choices, making me want to change my plans to suit them. I swore I would never do that again.
But most of all, I hate how even with all of that, I’ve never been more attracted to a man.
He should have praised my quick thinking, more than just his meager acknowledgment at the end. Hell, I should be congratulating myself. My quick thinking saved Mateo. Instead, I’m bubbling with anger and confusion, all because of a stupid man.
Again.
“Hey, Heidi, I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”
Ryan, the resident who had asked for my help, walks into the room. I didn’t even hear the door open; I was so preoccupied. I wave him off as I go over to my locker. “It’s fine, not your fault. He’s just like that with me. The important thing is, we helped Mateo.”
Ryan sits down on the bench, his back to me as I pull my scrub top over my head. Not that I care, I gave up any modesty back in med school, but I appreciate the thought.
“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t think about using a nebulizer. It’s just not the protocol these days, so it never crossed my mind.”
I sit down beside him. “Protocols are good and important. They’re best practice. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way.”
“Why is Donnelly such a total prick to you, anyway?”
I stand up, not wanting to engage in the change of subject. But Ryan just keeps going.
“I was so excited to work here, you know? I’d heard he was awesome to work with, and even though he never took on his own resident, he’d let you shadow him. I heard he would let senior residents try all kinds of cool stuff. But I’ve only ever seen him be a total hard-ass to you.”
“Maybe he didn’t want a resident and got stuck with me, and that’s why he’s acting so mad.” Even though I am positive that’s not the case, and I can’t believe I’m even bothering to defend him, I do. Because a part of me still remembers what Dr. Donnelly used to be like. “Who knows what’s going on in his head, but he’s still in charge, and we just have to deal with it.”
Ryan looks at me with a mixture of admiration and pity. “I’m just glad he’s not my attending. Was he like this when you were a nurse?”
“No, at least, not that I noticed.” I sigh, sitting back down to pull on my shoes. “It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, he’s a great doctor. He’s respectful to the nurses and good with patients and families.”
“Just not to you, huh?”
“Guess not.”
When I finally get home, I strip off my clothes and step into the shower, thinking about Ryan’s comment. If there was any question in my mind that Max’s rude behaviour was directed solely at me, there isn’t now.
It’s embarrassing, really. If my fellow residents can see how unfairly he treats me, who else can? And what does that mean for my future?
I stay in the shower way too long, letting the heat soothe away some of the stress. But with my eyes closed, head upturned to the stream of water, a picture of Dr. Donnelly from tonight pops into my head unbidden.
He wasn’t in scrubs, or even the dress pants and collared shirt he sometimes wears. Tonight, instead of the uptight doctor, I saw casual Max. Jeans that hugged his ass and muscular thighs, and a long-sleeved Henley that wrapped around his chest and arms perfectly.
