Page 61 of Truth and Temptation
The one man who has haunted my dreams for years. He’s the person I thought I would be with forever at one point in my life. And he’s the only man I have ever said those three little words to.
And now he’s holding a toddler in his arms, her head tucked into the crook of his neck, exactly where I used to like to snuggle into him.
A child.
The one thing we always disagreed on.
The ache I feel at seeing him after so long is all-encompassing. My bones feel like they can no longer hold me up, and I sink down into a chair, not letting my eyes leave him. I drink him in like a person lost in the desert given their first drink of water. He looks good. Strong, calm, steady, and clearly no longer mine. His head turns slightly in my direction, and I drop like a stone to the ground behind my table, my heart thumping wildly.
Why? Don’t ask me.
But there’s no way I’m prepared to talk to him. Not now, probably not ever. Just seeing him again feels like the worst kind of kismet. The kind where karma bites you in the ass and shows you everything you could have had if you hadn’t been too terrified of it. If you weren’t still too terrified of it. I peek around the corner, then pull my head back quickly when I realize they’re still there. Voices pass by overhead as I pretend to be looking for something on the ground. It’s probably not that convincing, but I do not want attention on me right now.
“What are you doing down there?”
My head pops up at Paige’s voice. She’s my best friend and unfortunately, an incredibly observant person. She also knows more about me and my past than anyone else. I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her down beside me.
“Leo’s here.”
Her mouth drops open and she pushes her glasses up her nose. “I assume by your attempt at subterfuge that you mean Leo from your younger years, and you are less than thrilled to see him again.”
“Yes, Paige, Leo. The boy I was in love with is now a man with a kid, and he’s standing over there.” I point at the group, trying to be unobtrusive about it, but when I look over, they’re all gone. “Well, he was.”
“You’re quite certain it was the same man? It has been a long time,” Paige comments, and I can hear the doubt laced in her tone.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’d never forget him.”
Paige and I stand up, and I’m grateful she doesn’t say anything just now. My heart and my brain are still trying to process what’s going on.
This is what I appreciate about my friendship with Paige. We’re complete opposites in personality, and on the surface it doesn’t make sense that we’d be as close as we are. She’s reserved, incredibly smart, and an introvert through and through. I’m anything but conservative, smart enough, but let’s face it, my talents lie elsewhere, and I thrive off of social interactions. Where I’m loud and crazy and passionate, Paige is quiet and thoughtful. She knows when to give me space and when to push me.
A lot like Leo used to. Maybe my friendship with her isn’t so strange after all… Funny how I never thought of that until now.
“If he’s here for any amount of time, you’ll have to talk to him eventually.”
“I realize that.”
Paige pushes her glasses up her nose, a frequent habit of hers. “How will you handle that?”
I lift my shoulders up and let them fall in a helpless shrug. “Dunno. I guess I’ll start with hello?”
If her eyes could roll any harder, they would.
“Serena, I realize you default to humour in times of stress, but this warrants your attention. Your immediate reaction was to hide from him, and now you think you’ll be able to hold a conversation?”
“No, Paige, I don’t,” I reply hotly. “Honestly, I have no idea what I would say to Leo. I never let myself think about seeing him again, it hurt too much.”
Paige’s face falls. “I didn’t realize he caused you so much pain.”
No, she didn’t. She couldn’t, seeing as I never told anyone the full story of me and Leo. Thankfully, I’m saved from having to reply by the voice of Paige’s fiancé, Wyatt.
“Hey ladies. Serena, do you need help getting stuff moved inside?”
Paige walks over to Wyatt, lifting up on her toes to kiss his cheek. I’ve been around so many lovey-dovey couples for over a year, I should be used to this by now. But seeing Leo has reopened the empty hole in my heart that was left when I said goodbye to him.
“Thanks, I’d appreciate it.” I smile at them both, forcing my thoughts of Leo away.
“Great. Faster we get you cleaned up, faster we can head to Hastings.” Wyatt claps his hands together, but all I feel is unenthused. As much as I love my friends, and as much as I thrive on being around them and being out and about, right now I just want to go home.
