Page 55 of Truth and Temptation
“God, no!” I answer in horror. “Of course not. That’s insane.”
“Mmm hmm.” Mom crosses her arms in front of her chest and stares at me, waiting for the second it clicks.
“Shit.” I drop my head into my hands. “Sorry, Mom.”
“I’ll let it slide this time.”
“I need to fix this.” I lift my head and look from Mom to Dad. “How do I fix this?” But no sooner do I say that than the answer comes to me.
“I need to find a book.”
Chapter twenty-four
Paige
“Thank you,” I say to Ethan and Reid as they maneuver the new couch into position at the back of my store.
“No problem. Do you need anything else moved around?” Ethan rubs his hands on his pants as he and Reid look around the space.
“No, this was it. You’re sure you don’t mind taking the old couch to the secondhand store?”
“Nope, it’s fine.”
“Thank you.”
I lock the front door after they leave and go to turn on my Joni Mitchell. For several days after Wyatt left, I couldn’t bring myself to turn it on. My ritual was forever changed by memories of dancing with Wyatt in the dark. But today I woke up and my heart didn’t hurt quite as much. I made it through the day without thinking of him more than once or twice. And I did not feel my heart leap every single time my phone beeped with an incoming message, naïvely hoping it would be him. The fact is, the only contact I have had that is remotely tied to Wyatt was an email sent to my store account from none other than Giselle Crawford. It came through just two days ago and simply said Wyatt was in Vancouver, and she hoped to see me again sometime. I read and reread her short message so many times, it is burned into my memory. I cannot begin to understand why she reached out, especially to say she wishes to see me again. Whatever for? I refuse to allow my heart to consider any possible future with Wyatt and his family in it. That path is far too dangerous to go down.
As the words and music of “Big Yellow Taxi” float through the air, I let my eyes drift closed and my hips start to sway. The inner peace that I used to always feel this time of day infuses me; the spirit and energy of my grandmother bringing a true smile to my face.
The sound of a loud knock on the door startles me, breaking my solitude. I’m hidden down one of the aisles of bookshelves, and as I briefly contemplate ignoring whoever it is, they knock again and I hear his voice.
“Paige? Baby, I see the light on. If you’re there, please let me in.”
A battle instantly starts in my heart. I desperately want to run to the door and open it, let him back into my life and into my heart. But I am wary. The devastation his leaving caused me was not something I ever want to repeat, and if he left once because of my asthma, what is to stop him the next time I have a flare up?
Fast on the heels of that dilemma comes another. How do I know he’s here to ask for forgiveness at all? One pet name does not an apology make.
Ultimately, my curiosity wins out, and I slowly emerge from my place behind the shelf and make my way to the door. His eyes light up, and a smile unlike any I have ever seen before from him covers his handsome face. My greedy heart soaks it up like a plant receiving water after a drought. I turn the lock and step back, letting him push the door open. I stand there, silently waiting, as he closes the door behind him. He keeps some distance between us, for which I am thankful, even though it is physically painful being this close to him. Such a strange phenomenon, feeling such a strong yearning for another human being. I have never wanted anyone like this before.
“Paige, I…” His hand comes up to rub his jaw as his eyes sweep up and down my body. “Fuck. Baby. I have so much I need to say, but it’s just so good to see you.”
I cross my arms in front of me stiffly. “I am not certain I can say the same for you just yet.”
“I deserve that.” Wyatt inhales audibly, letting it out on a sigh as his hand now moves up to run through his hair. “I am so sorry for leaving the way I did. For leaving at all. I don’t have a fucking clue how to earn your forgiveness, but I’m hoping you’ll at least hear me out on a few things. Please. I really need to explain.”
This is it. The moment I decide if I am willing to open myself to him once more. But my body answers for me, before my heart and mind have a chance to catch up. Turning with a small tilt of my head for him to follow, I lead the way to the new couch Ethan and Reid set in place not too long ago. I sit at one end, angling my body to face him as he sits at the other end. The couch is small, so the distance between us could easily be bridged. But neither one of us reaches out for the other.
“I’ve had my parents and my best friend all tell me what a stupid coward I was. How wrong I was to walk out on you like that. And worst of all, how mad my brother would be at me, not only for leaving you, but for living my life the way I have since he died.” Leaning forward, Wyatt drops his elbows to his knees and looks at the floor. His back is hunched with pain that I ache to soothe away. “Losing him broke me. And I thought I was doing the right thing by avoiding any sort of relationship that might lead to that kind of pain again. It was easy at first. For years, no one came into my life that made me think twice about getting involved. But you changed everything.”
Finally, he looks at me, and I’m shocked to see tears glistening in his deep brown eyes. His hand comes up to brush them away.
“I’ve cried more this past week than I did when Ry died. If that doesn’t tell you something, I don’t know what will. Here’s the thing. My mom made me see just how colossal of a mistake I made. She asked me one simple question. Would I have been happier if Ryder had never existed, so that I would never have lost him.”
The heartbreak in his voice is my tipping point. I close the distance between us and take his hands in mine, bringing them to my lap. As I do, Wyatt lets out a shaky laugh and threads our fingers together.
“Needless to say, the answer was no, and the message was clear. That fucking cliché, is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? That was written for me and you, baby. Because the truth is, I can’t stand not having you in my life, even if I am terrified of losing you.”
“You were never in any danger of losing me, Wyatt,” I interrupt. “I had an asthma attack. Not cancer. I’ve lived with this disease my entire life, and will continue to do so for the rest of it. Sometimes it is well controlled, and other times it isn’t. But I am in no danger of dying from it, I promise.”
