Page 51 of Truth and Temptation
“You will. He unlocked the door, but now anyone can walk in,” Serena slurs from her place next to me on the couch.
I glare at her over my glasses, which have slipped down my nose. “That allegory is disturbing.”
Serena giggles, then snorts, sending all of us into fits of laughter.
“I believe we have consumed a sufficient amount of alcohol for the evening. Why is my pain not subsiding?” I ask morosely, peering into the bottom of my empty glass.
“Because heartache takes more than booze to heal.” Ashley’s wise words have the rest of my friends nodding in agreement. I look at them in turn, and despite the wine clouding my brain, I notice even Serena, who is presently unattached, nodding.
“I believe I was happier before I knew this feeling. Perhaps my avoidance of romantic intimacy was a smart act of self-preservation.”
“But,” Mila reasons, “Then you wouldn’t know about orgasms. And orgasms are good.”
Summer gets up from her chair and goes to the kitchen, returning with a bag of popcorn and another bottle. She makes the rounds, filling up our glasses, then drops back down to sit with the popcorn, only for Mila to reach over and take it from her.
“Here’s the thing, Paige. Love hurts. It sucks, but it’s true. Whether it’s your first crush in high school or the love of your life, love hurts.”
“Hurts even more when it’s a little bit of both,” Serena mumbles, and all our heads turn to her.
“Excuse me? Story time?” Mila asks, but Serena waves her off.
“Later. Tonight is Paige’s night.”
“I’m quite content to shift the attention away from myself,” I remark, but Serena gives me a glare that would be far more intimidating were it not for the alcohol in my bloodstream making me indifferent to it.
“Nope. As the solitary single woman of our group, I demand that we focus on you and not me. I am not equipped to handle the pressure of all you lovey-dovey people right now.”
“Fine, but we’re coming back to this, lady.”
I feel Mila shift her attention back to me, and I take great care not to meet her gaze.
“Paige, look. Wyatt was hot, and he was into you, but he isn’t the only guy out there. When you’re ready, you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.”
Once more, alcohol fuels my blunt confession. “I think he is the only guy out there. He was right for me. For once, I felt like I truly belonged with him. I’ve never had that before. Never felt like I was the right person, in the right place, with the right person.”
“Not even with us?” Serena asks in a small, hurt voice.
“I know how this sounds, but no. Not even with you. I care for each of you deeply. You are truly amazing friends that I feel lucky to have in my life. But I have always felt as if I am on the periphery, looking in at a group of inspiring, strong, beautiful women who go after what they want in life and don’t hold back.” I look to Serena first. “You bought the studio from Madame Elaine and turned it into something even more. You instill such confidence and strength in every student you teach, changing them for the better.” My eyes travel to Summer. “You came back, not knowing what you would find, handled the loss of your father, and created a future for yourself. You’ve proven yourself to be a capable businesswoman, and an integral part of our community.” Mila’s chewing on her lower lip when I reach her. “And you, you took a dream you had with your mother and made it a reality, single-handed. You run two business, and even had the time and energy to organize a fundraiser for animals. And Ashley.” I look at my newest friend. “I don’t know you very well, but you belong here. And just like the others, you’ve created a life you should be proud of.”
“Don’t you dare skip over yourself, if you’re handing out praise for chasing dreams.”
I’m taken aback by the fire in Serena’s voice. She folds her arms across her chest, narrowing her gaze at me.
“Who is it that walked away from an incredibly sheltered life because she knew there was more out there? Not any of us, that’s for sure. Who took a small inheritance and turned it into a profitable, successful store? Who pulls all of us together each month for book club? Who do we go to when we need someone to help us see reason and logic? Who helps all of us stay calm when we start to freak out? Good grief, Paige, do you honestly not see how important you are to all of us? How we wouldn’t be us without you? You belong to each and every one of us. You are my best friend, and if I have to pin you down and force you to hear me say that over and over again, I will.”
Serena stops, then abruptly throws her arms around me, pulling me into an awkward embrace. My glasses are knocked askew, but I can’t do anything about it as she squeezes me tightly.
“I love you, Paige. You hear me?” she mumbles into my shoulder.
“Yes, Serena. I hear you.” I pat her back. “And I…I love you, too.”
“You better love all of us, woman.”
Serena and I break apart, and I look at my friends. “I do. Truly. And I apologize if what I said hurt anyone. I suppose I spent so much of my life on the outside, I didn’t realize I was on the inside. If that makes sense.”
“It totally does.” Ashley reaches a hand over from where she’s sitting and places it on my knee. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re inspiring and strong and amazing and all those things you think we are. And if Wyatt can’t see that and realize your asthma doesn’t define you or hold you back, then maybe you’re better off without him.”
“What she said.” Mila comes and squeezes onto the couch on the other side of me, leaning her head down on my shoulder. “You deserve nothing but the best from life, and from anyone who shares that life with you. I’m sorry Wyatt hurt you, but we’ll get you through this. I promise.”
