Page 22 of Truth and Temptation
How she is so calm is beyond me. My insides are spinning faster than a roulette wheel, and I have not been able to sleep for more than a handful of hours since I somehow agreed to go to Vancouver with Wyatt.
“I do. But I could just go on the ferry, and I’m sure I could stay with my colleague that is providing the ticket for the conference.”
Summer arches her brow at me. “You really want to stay with a complete stranger, in their home, instead of in your own hotel room? Come on, Paige.”
She has a point. Up until now, Seth and I have communicated via email and one phone call. His invitation for me to use his extra ticket for the conference was unexpected, but I am truly excited for the opportunity to attend. Still, spending the night at his home, when I have never met him face to face, feels incredibly uncomfortable.
“You make a valid argument, Summer.” I let my head drop forward to stare at my hands, feeling exposed by my irrational anxiety.
Summer drapes her arm around my shoulder and tugs me in for a side embrace. “It’s okay to be nervous. I can tell Wyatt means something to you, even if you don’t quite know what that is yet. But try to relax and enjoy yourself.”
“I kissed him.”
“Wait, what?” Summer straightens up and takes my shoulders, forcibly turning me to face her. “You kissed Wyatt? When? Where? Why?”
“Would you also like to ask who and how?” I reply, letting sarcasm lace my tone. Summer rolls her eyes, quite accustomed to my dry sense of humour.
“Spill the beans, Paige.”
“Yes, the day before the author signing event, at the bookstore, and because I wanted to.” I rattle off my answers, counting them on my fingers.
“And?” Summer nudges me. “How was it?”
My tongue darts out to lick my suddenly dry lips. How was it? How do I answer that? Summer is aware of my lackluster experiences with physical intimacy in the past. How do I tell her that kissing Wyatt was like the earth cracked open under my feet? That everything I thought I knew about myself, my wants, my desires, has been thrown into the air and fallen down like confetti, chaotic and messy.
“It was nice.”
“Nice?”
I nod, keeping my eyes downcast. “Yes, nice. Quite satisfactory, in fact.”
“Paige, honey, I’m gonna need more than that. Come on. Talk to me.” Summer’s voice is gentle, kind, understanding. If there’s anyone I feel I could speak with about the tumultuous feelings inside of me, it’s Summer.
“I don’t entirely know how to express my thoughts on this. Kissing Wyatt was extraordinary. I have been, quite frankly, overwhelmed by the sensations I experienced in that moment.”
Summer’s smile is enigmatic. “You have feelings for him.”
I frown at her quizzically. Grasping subtext is hard for me sometimes. “I don’t understand what you mean. Of course I have feelings, I find him interesting and attractive to look at.”
“No.” Summer gently shakes her head. “You have feelings for him. You like him. You want to be with him, romantically.”
“That would be pointless for me to feel, Summer. He will be leaving Dogwood Cove soon, that much is certain. For me to allow myself to develop the type of feelings you are indicating would only end in loss and pain for me.”
“He might be leaving soon, but he’s also made it seem like he wants to come back. Why else would he be considering opening a business here? Besides, what about the pain of never opening yourself up to possibility? You’re one of the smartest, most self-assured people I know. Be brave, Paige.”
Be brave.
Those two words have taken up residence in my head, thanks to the countless times I have repeated them to myself since Summer left me alone with a packed suitcase and reassurances that she and Ashley would manage the store for the weekend. I may not know Finn’s girlfriend Ashley that well, but Summer worked with me temporarily when she first moved to town, so I do have faith in her. If she believes this trip is a good idea, then it is.
But standing on the dock looking at the tiny plane that is meant to carry Wyatt and me to the mainland, I start to question that faith.
“It’s perfectly safe, I promise.”
Wyatt’s smooth voice rolls over me. When I first arrived, I didn’t see him and surmised I had arrived early. That was clearly an error on my part, as it allowed time for me to ruminate on one crucial piece of information I have withheld from Wyatt until now.
“I’ve never been on an airplane before.”
To his credit, Wyatt doesn’t let his surprise at my admission show, but I am certain he feels it. What independent woman in her thirties hasn’t been on an airplane in their life? Thanks to my overly concerned parents worrying about my health, the answer is — me.
