Page 48 of Seductive Swimmer
“I’ve known Alex for a long time. I’ve seen him go through women without a second look. He always put on a good front, but we knew the truth. He’s been lonely for a while, lost in a way.” Lo stops loading the dishwasher long enough to glance over at the guys, who are deep in their own conversation. “Underneath all that sexy swagger is a guy who needs to be loved. He’d kill me if he knew I said this to you, but he didn’t have the greatest childhood, and I honestly don’t think he knows what it means to depend on someone, or to feel true affection.”
“He’s got you and Brayden,” I stammer, trying to sort through the rush of emotion Lorelai’s words bring to me.
“Yeah, but it’s different. We’re his friends, and we’ll always be there for him. But he’s never had a true partner in life. Someone who’s there just for him, not because of how many medals he’s won or how much money he has.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” I hurry to say.
Lorelai reaches over and touches my shoulder. “I know. I can tell you’re with him for the right reasons. That’s why I think you’re good for him. You’re showing him that he deserves to be cared for by someone amazing.”
Alex and Brayden come into the kitchen before I can say anything in return. Clearly there’s more to Alex than what he’s shown me so far. I could sense that there was something he wasn’t telling me, and I’m guessing it has to do with his parents. My mind flashes back to the other night when he told me about his accident. How he was upset from a conversation with his parents. I could tell he was holding back from telling me the full story. Now I wonder if he’ll ever feel comfortable revealing everything to me.
“Hello, ladies. Lo, can you pass me the hazelnut praline from the fridge? Time to work my magic on the mousse.”
Brayden claps his hands together, and Alex lets out a loud laugh. “Listen to yourself, man, work your magic? Who are you, Jacques Torres?”
I snort at that. “You know who Jacques Torres is, Alex?”
He fixes me with a haughty look. “Of course I do.”
Brayden shoves Alex, throwing him off balance. “Tell her why, dude.” He turns to me, dancing out of Alex’s reach as Alex lunges at him. “He watchesNailed Iton Netflix in his downtime. Dude’s obsessed with it.”
The two men turn into giant children as they wrestle and put each other in headlocks, right there in the kitchen. Lo is just standing back smiling, while I try to grasp what I’m seeing. Alex’s playful side; this happy, casual, relaxed man in front of me is so different from the intense man I’ve grown used to. I feel myself falling faster and harder the more I learn about him.
The question is, is he falling for me? Or am I just one more in a long line of women destined to be cast aside by Alex Devlin? Lorelai’s words stick with me long past our leaving their apartment.
I do care about Alex, a lot. But if he doesn’t let me in, if he doesn’t share the real Alex, all of him, then can I be the person he needs and deserves?
The next few days pass by in a blur of busy days and sleepless nights. I should be exhausted or worn out from the multiple orgasms Alex insists on giving me each night, but I’m not. We’re existing in a happy bubble right now, where we just enjoy each other’s company without getting too deep. I know this can’t last, I know the bubble will pop and I’m quite certain I’ll be the one to blame. My curiosity and desire to know Alex, to reallyknow him, will become too strong one day, and I’ll push him too far. So for now, I try to concentrate on just enjoying my time with him, and trynotto acknowledge the fact that I’m falling in love with him.
The Sunday after our dinner with Brayden and Lorelai, I head to Forever Grey to take Molly out. Alex is with Brayden watching a soccer game, or ‘proper football’ as Alex insists it be called, but he agreed to meet me at my place after.
When Molly and I hit the sunshine, I take this time to clear my head. Putting my focus on her, and on our surroundings lets me quiet the chatter in my mind about where things are going with Alex. Of course, as soon as that happens, I start focusing on how close I am to having enough money saved to adopt Molly. I’ve thought a lot about whether I’ve been selfish by not accepting some financial help from my parents. I could’ve had Molly out of there and home with me a long time ago if I hadn’t been so stubborn. But at the same time, I know that if I didn’t do this my way, I’d never feel right about it. I don’t want to feel like I owe my parents for anything anymore, beyond my love as their daughter. I needed to create some distance between us, both physically and mentally, which meant no longer relying on them or letting them fix any problems I have.
Besides, I’m close. When I get the next payment for my contract with DC Group, I’ll have enough.
“Soon we’ll be together every day, baby girl,” I say to Molly, reaching my hand down to stroke her long neck. She’s so tall, her head rests at my waist when she leans into me. I swear she understands me sometimes, like now when she turns to me with her big brown eyes, so full of trust and love.
We slowly meander back to the shelter, neither of us ready to leave the sunshine or each other. But I know Alex will be waiting for me, he’s got plans to make dinner for us, a traditional British meal, he claims. Whatever that means.
Inside the shelter, Suzette, the manager, is waiting for me. After I put Molly back in her kennel with lots of pets and extra treats, I head to the office. She gestures for me to sit down, and I’m all of a sudden nervous.
“Savannah, how close are you to having the amount you wanted to save before adopting Molly?”
That’s not at all what I was expecting her to say, and I shift nervously in my chair.
“Umm, close. I’m just a couple hundred short of the adoption fee, but I’ll have it as soon as my next paycheckfor my current contract job clears. Two weeks, maybe?”
Suzette nods, her fingers steepled together in front of her. “You know we’ve tried to hold on to her for you for a while now. We’ve kept her off our online listings so that fewer people know she’s here. But there’s a family that has expressed interest in her. They came by to meet one of the other dogs, and when that pairing didn’t work, they met some others. They really like Molly. I’ve been able to put them off for a week or so, but I can’t hold them off any longer. We need the space, Savannah.”
Well, fuck. My shoulders slump as I blink rapidly, trying to make sense of this.
“What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you that if you can’t adopt Molly within the next week, we’ll have no choice but to let her go with this other family. I’ve got no reason to deny their application.”
Hot tears threaten to fall at the thought of losing Molly to someone else. But only a week? I don’t know how the hell I’ll pull that off. I stand up abruptly, needing to get out of here.
“Thanks for letting me know, Suzette. I really appreciate everything you’ve done. I’ll let you know what I work out, but please don’t let her go without telling me first. I’m going to figure this out.”
Suzette nods sympathetically as I turn and try not to run out of her office and out of the shelter. I don’t go to see Molly, even though a part of me wants to grab her and run away.
Will my stubbornness be the reason I lose my dog?
Shit.
