Page 52 of Always and Forever
Mila comes and stands beside me, taking my hand in both of hers and squeezing it tightly.
“Mom and Dad died way too soon, and we’re both screwed up from that.” There is an angry sadness in Mila’s voice that my senses tell me, even dulled by the whiskey, is something to come back to at another time. “And even if you didn’t want to admit it at the time, I know that Aubrey leaving so suddenly messed with your head. But that wasn’t about you, that was her not being able to handle things like a mature adult. You know that, right?” I nod slowly. “Good. Now that you knowwhyyou had a hard time trusting your emotions about Summer, you can move on from it. You can accept the fact that you’re in love and figure out how to live that truth instead of hiding behind excuses.”
“I do love her, Mills. So much.”
“I know that. The question is, how are you going to convinceSummerof that?”
“If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be here getting drunk with you and your dog. No offense.”
Mila shifts her body so that she’s facing me. “Do you believe she wants to stay in Dogwood Cove, no matter what?”
“Yeah, I do,” I admit, realizing it’s the truth. Summer has said it enough that I know she’s happy here. And as much as I want to say it’s because of me, I know it’s more than that. She feels like she’s home. And she is.
“Okay. Then let’s do whatever we can to show her that staying in town is the right choice, and that staying withyouis even better.”
“How?”
“By using actions, not words.”
23
Summer
When I drive away from the resort, I leave half of my heart behind with Ethan standing on that beach. A battered and bruised half, but half, nonetheless. The entire trip back to town I battle with myself, questioning if I overreacted or not. No. He kept something from me, a really big something. Even if I have no intention of accepting the deal Cole Devereaux wants to offer me, it’s my decision to make. Ethan tried to take that choice away from me by hiding this. I just can’t understand why he didn’t trust me enough to talk to me about it.
The farther away from him I get, the more clearly I can see the real problem. Ethan didn’t trust us, or our relationship, enough. And God, does that ever hurt. He claims to love me, but love means trusting someone with your heart. It’s more than just pretty words, it’s actions, it’s the choices we make every day to work together, to be open and honest.
When I reach town, I go straight to the bakery, parking in the back in hopes that Mila won’t see me. As I hurry up the stairs to my apartment, I see the back door to the bakery open and hear her call out my name. But I ignore her; there’s no way I can face her right now.
Once I’m inside, I sag to the floor, unable to hold myself together any longer. The tears that I fought back the entire drive here pour out of me. I thought I had cried enough at the resort, in front of Ethan. Apparently, I was wrong, there’s plenty more to come, and I let them flow. Sadness, anger, frustration, grief, and pain; all the feelings wash over me until I sink into the pile of emotions that overwhelm me.
Eventually my eyes dry. My throat is left raw from crying, and I’m empty inside.I need to get up. I stagger into the kitchen where I pour a glass of water, chugging it down greedily. I’m parched. A second glass follows the first before I start to feel the tiniest amount better. Physically, that is. Emotionally I’m still a complete and utter wreck. I turn on my kettle and pull out some herbal tea before going to the fridge for my emergency stash of chocolate. While the water boils, I manage to change into my pajamas, then I take my tea and chocolate and climb under the covers of my bed. In the dim light of my apartment, I take several deep breaths, and close my eyes.
An incessant knocking on my door wakes me from the nap I never intended on taking.
“Summer? Are you in there?”
“Of course she is, Serena, we know she is.”
It’s Paige and Serena. Crap. Does that mean Mila’s with them? She’s my best friend, and I know she said all those things about chicks before dicks, but I’m so upset with Ethan I don’t know if I can handle seeing her and being reminded of him in any way.
“Summer, please open the door, we need to know you’re alright,” Paige’s voice comes through my door again.
I slowly peel back the covers and drag myself out of bed. My body aches as if I have the flu. But I know it’s only my broken heart spreading the pain throughout my body.
Wordlessly, I open the door, then turn and walk back to my bed, picking up my now cold mug of tea and taking it to the kitchen to warm it up. With a sense of relief I note that Mila isn’t with them. But Serena has her arms crossed over her chest and is eyeing my outfit critically, while Paige is looking around the apartment.
“This looks much the same as it did when their last renter moved out,” she comments.
“I don’t have a lot of stuff.”
“Have you ever had a place you considered home?”
Paige’s question hits me in the heart and I feel my jaw drop slightly.
“Jeez, Paige, way to cut to the chase.” Serena shakes her head as she walks over to me and takes my arm, leading me to the couch before pushing me to sit down between them. “What our intelligent friend is getting at is, we want to know if you consider Dogwood Cove your home.”
I nod, mutely.
