Page 36 of Rumours and Romance
Ouch. That hurts.
MILA: Right.
My phone starts to vibrate in my hand with an incoming call from Jackson.
“Mila, I’m sorry. As soon as I hit send, I realized how fucking asshole-ish that sounded.” His tone is full of regret and just like that, the sting from his words subsides.
“It’s okay. I get it. And you’re right, it has been a while,” I say.
“Yeah, but I don’t only want to see you because of our agreement. I like spending time with you, Mila.” His voice grows softer, more tender, and I have to work hard not to read too much into it.
“I…like spending time with you, too.”
The line is silent for a few seconds and I wonder if I shouldn’t have said that. Are the lines getting blurry between us or is it just me?
“Meet you at the gazebo in half an hour?” His voice sounds husky, and it sends a delicious shiver down my spine. The crappy part is, I don’t think he has any clue how much he affects me.
When I see Jackson walking up to Milo and I exactly half an hour later, those shivers intensify. His eyes are warm, and he’s smiling when he bends down to kiss me.
“Hi.”
He takes my hand as if us walking my dog together is an everyday occurrence, and my brain finally catches up to my heart.
I want this to be my every day.
I want him to be my every day.
This past week has been a blur of long days and sleepless night. I only wish I was losing sleep for a better reason than agonizing over the fact that somewhere along the way I fell in love with Jackson Holt.
My every waking minute has been occupied with work between the bakery, the expansion, and helping Summer with last minute resort tasks. I should be exhausted, and physically I am. But mentally my stupid brain will not shut off.
I fell in love with a man who will most likely run scared all the way to the next town if I tell him how I feel. The worst part is, everyone knows something is up with me. My friends keep asking me what’s wrong, Ethan couldn’t possibly frown any deeper when he sees me, and Jackson…well, thinking about him only makes matters worse. So, I’ve been avoiding him all week — keeping our interactions at the bakery as brief as possible and giving any number of excuses for why I can’t see him in the evenings. If he suspects anything, he hasn’t said so, and I’m not sure if his obliviousness makes it easier or harder for me.
But today there will be no avoiding anyone. It’s the re-opening barbecue at Oceanside Resort that Summer has been planning for months. She wants to host the entire town as a way to say thank you for all of the help and support she’s had getting the place up and running again.
Which means Jackson and I need to be extra convincing in our “relationship”. He picked me up earlier, looking downright delicious in khaki coloured shorts and a dark blue Henley style T-shirt that is molded to his muscular torso. The top button is undone, showing just a slice of his tanned chest. I have no idea what we talk about, I’m too distracted by his hand holding mine. Why is he holding my hand in the car? No one can see us. It’s things like this that are making me feel completely nuts.
When Jackson parks his car at the resort, I go to open my door and he stops me with a hand on my leg.
“Mila, before we go out there, what’s going on?”
“What…what do you mean?” I stammer out. I hate that I always feel two steps behind when it comes to Jackson and I. If he pushes me to talk right now, I might just spill the truth about how I feel. And that can’t happen.
“I haven’t seen you all week, and you barely paid attention the entire drive out here.” He gives me a wry grin. “Or do you really want to try pickle pizza next week.”
“Eww. No,” I say immediately. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m…distracted.” I glance out the window to where I can see all of our friends hustling with finishing touches.
“By what?”
“What is this, twenty questions?” I fire back.
“I guess that depends on your answers.”
That makes me shake my head in resignation. But our banter has given me just enough time to close the lid on my pesky feelings, and remember the boundaries between us. “Sorry. I’ve just been so busy with the expansion and with helping Summer get ready for today. I’ll be fine.”
Please believe me. Please believe me. Please believe me.
My silent prayer works, because after the briefest of seconds, Jackson nods, and moves his hand from my leg.
