Page 22 of Rumours and Romance
JACKSON: Great. Come on by around 6.
Friends can eat pizza together. Friends who are pretending to be more should eat pizza together. If someone sees me going to his house at night, that’s a good thing.
Right?
Unfortunately, the idea of being alone with Jackson doesn’t feel like a good thing for long. In fact, as my day goes on, and I close up the bakery and head for Serena’s studio where the four of us girls are going to do a yoga class with Summer teaching us, my brain starts going crazy, wondering if my going to his house tonight is actually a stupid idea.
The man is hot. Like seriously hot. And I really like kissing him. Even if so far, our kisses have all been for show, it’ll be hard to resist feeling those lips against mine again.
I’m in the middle of flowing from downward dog into pigeon pose when I lose balance and fall to the side. Serena looks up with an exasperated huff, and Summer lifts her head from her perfect posture.
“Mila, what’s going on? You’re so distracted today.”
“Trust me, you’re not the first person to tell me that,” I reply drily, remembering Ethan’s frustration earlier.
“If this is what sex does to you, maybe you should go back to being single. You’re going to become a liability in the kitchen if this keeps up.”
That observation comes from the ever-pragmatic Paige, and I have to stop myself from blurting out the truth. That I am still single, that it’s all a big lie, but that I’m distracted by thinking of what might happen tonight.
Nothing is going to happen.
Correction, I can’t let anything happen. Not only because I’m too busy to date anyone for real and use up the emotional and mental energy it would take to maintain a relationship, but because Jackson has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want to be with anyone right now. Which means letting something pesky like my attraction to his kisses get in the way will only make things weird.
“I’m not having sex, you guys. We just started dating. I’ve just got a lot on my mind with the expansion, that’s all.” I ignore their curious glances, and make my way back to downward dog, this time flowing my leg through into pigeon pose properly. Closing my eyes, I focus inward on my breathing, and try to shut out all of the crazy thoughts and feelings that are swirling around in my head.
When our class is finished, the four of us sit around the studio on our mats chatting. I love how seamlessly Summer has fit into my group of friends, as if she never left town and we never lost touch. A pang of guilt over lying to them about Jackson hits me, but I forcibly move it aside. They won’t understand why I’m doing this, why I feel this pressure to pretend I’m happily in a relationship. Even though Summer is the only one of us currently paired off, the other two often bug me about working too much as well. They don’t see that getting the bakery, and now the café side also up and running is my top priority. Sure, I complain about the lack of single men in Dogwood Cove as much as they do. But that doesn’t mean I actually want a boyfriend. I’m content on my own, focusing on my business, and living life my way.
“Jackson’s coming to dinner on Saturday, right?” Summer asks quietly as we’re rolling up our mats. Every Saturday, Ethan and I used to get together for dinner. It expanded to include Summer when she came back to town, because growing up she was as close as family to us. I can’t dodge the question as easily as I did with Ethan earlier, so I opt for a vague response, hoping it’s good enough.
“I’m not really sure what his schedule is like. Besides, its early. He doesn’t need to do the whole ‘dinner with the family’ thing right away.”
“Oh, come on, Mila, it’s us. We’re family, but we’re also all friends. He had better be okay hanging out with us,” she chides.
“Of course he is. We’ll be at Canada Day together,” I’m quick to respond, not wanting to give her any reason to question things. “I just have to check what his plans are on Saturday. That’s all.”
Summer’s perceptive, and I’m a crap liar, so she’s looking at me skeptically.
“Is everything okay, Mila?”
“Of course,” I force out a light laugh. “Why wouldn’t it be? I’ve got a great boyfriend, great friends, a great job, everything is great. I’m great.”
Even I can hear how ridiculous that sounds, and judging by Summer’s raised eyebrows, she hears it, too.
“Sounds great,” she says, her voice laced with sarcasm. But her face softens as she continues, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
I smile at her, and the worry fades from her face. “I love you for caring, but I’m seriously fine. I just don’t know if Jackson is free on Saturday, that’s all.”
She pulls me in for a hug. “Okay. Good. I’m happy for you. It’s nice to see you doing something other than work.”
“Hey, I do plenty of other things. Book club, yoga, dinners with you guys.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. But you also work a lot. Six days a week, twelve hours a day sometimes. It’s good to have someone out there taking care of you, that’s all.” Summer gives me one final squeeze.
“Thanks.” I pull back, hating the guilt I feel over lying through my teeth to one of my best friends. The fact that she doesn’t question what I’m saying makes me feel worse, not better. Apparently, I’m not such a bad liar if she believes me so quickly.
Fake dating Jackson was meant to make life easier.
So why does it suddenly feel like everything is way more complicated, and way more stressful than before?
