Page 15 of Falling Fast
Out of nowhere, I feel the blood rush to my clit, and I start to pant, knowing my orgasm is close.
“Marcus, fuck, Marcus!” I scream his name as I come, and his answering groan tells me he’s right there with me.
It’s not until later, after we’ve cleaned up and are spooning in my bed, that he speaks.
“You saidfuck, Ella.”
I giggle, which turns into a snort, and then full on laughter for both of us.
“What can I say, you must be a bad influence.”
His laughter dies out and I hear Marcus breathe in and out deeply before he replies.
“You’re the best influence on me.”
When I wake up the next morning, I know he’s gone before I even open my eyes. I’m cold without his arms around me, and my bed holds only a faint whiff of his tantalizing scent. Even as I try to convince myself he must have just gone to the inn for fresh clothes or something, I know better. Somehow, I know he’s left the island.
I climb out of bed and tie my robe around me, before making my way to the kitchen to turn on the kettle for some tea. Only then do I notice the piece of paper next to a mug already prepared with my favorite tea ready to be steeped.
Sweet Ella,
I hate that I’m leaving you with a note. It feels cruel and so much less than you deserve. But I couldn’t bring myself to wake you last night.
I got a call from home, a work emergency I have to attend to immediately. My assistant chartered a plane for me and I had to leave before the sun was up. I’m so sorry babe.
I will come back, as soon as I can. I won’t say when, because I refuse to make a promise I can’t keep. But I will be back for you, Ella. That Idopromise.
There’s so much I want to say to you, but a note is not the right place.
Keep me with you, beautiful.
M
I don’t realize I’m crying until the first tear drops onto the paper, blurring the M at the bottom. I quickly wipe my face, and put the note down, not wanting to make it worse. I have so many questions, but no way to get the answers. Then I realize Marcus also wrote his phone number. I want to call him right away, but don’t. He’s dealing with something urgent, or so his note says. I don’t want to be the needy girl who interrupts him just to hear his voice, no matter how badly I want to hear it.
The whistling kettle pierces through the growing fog of sadness I can feel blanketing me. Was it really only thirty-six hours that I had with Marcus? It felt like a lifetime. Or rather, it felt like he has always been a part of my life, just waiting in the wings for the right time to appear. And now he’s gone, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I thought we still had some time together, at least a few days, and we could have talked about what was happening and our plans to be together. Instead, I have a note and a promise that he’ll be back eventually.
I pour my tea and wander out to my back porch. Even wrapped in a cozy quilt, sitting on my swing staring out at the view that normally fills me with joy, I’m sad. I miss him, more than I thought was possible to miss someone. It’s different from the way I miss my parents; their death had such a finality to it that once I had moved through the acute grief of losing them, I settled into a place of acceptance. This loss, Marcus leaving, I can’t accept it. I’m holding onto the thread of hope from his note that he’ll be back. Won’t he?
I can hear my phone beeping inside the cottage. I debate ignoring it, but curiosity wins out, and I go to retrieve it. There’s a message from Tawny.
TAWNY: Hey little sister. Your guy checked out early this morning, are you okay?
Her sweet concern brings a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. Even my overprotective big sister has guessed that Marcus is important to me. I wish my twin was here, but I can’t even get Kayla on the phone. She finished her job in Alaska and immediately took off to Africa for another assignment. I miss her and right now I wish she was here.
ELLA: Not really. He left me a note, it says he’ll be back when he can. But I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
TAWNY: Oh, Ella. Want me to come over with muffins?
ELLA: No, I kind of want to be alone.
TAWNY: Okay, but I’m coming to check on you this afternoon.
I put my phone down and turn to go back outside, but it rings. Without looking at the screen, I answer, assuming it’s Tawny.
“You can check on me after lunch, T. Get back to work and leave me alone to wallow.”
Instead of Tawny’s voice, a rich chuckle fills my ear.
