Page 3 of Romancing Melanie
To his credit, Noah chuckled remorsefully. “I’m sorry, Mel, I panicked. I wasn’t sure if they would let me see him if we weren’t together, you know, like really together.”
She nodded slowly, his reason made sense, even if the idea was insane. “I get it, Noah, but think this through. We aren’t engaged, hell we aren’t even dating. What are we going to do when they come for a home visit? When they ask about our future plans?” She could hear her voice increasing in pitch and volume as she spoke. Thinking about a relationship, even a fake one, made Melanie incredibly nervous. She had her asshole of an ex-husband to thank for that.
“I know, it’s nuts. Look, just help me fake it until they confirm paternity. Once I’ve got custody, we can break up and it’ll all be over. Please, Mel, you have got to help me with this, there’s no one else I trust.” When he turned to her, she was surprised to see panic in his eyes. He seemed truly terrified of losing the baby.
“Okay, Noah. I’ll help,” she said gently. “But are you ready for this? A baby is not easy. Especially not a newborn.”
“I know, Mel. I know I can handle it, because even if I’ve had zero time to prepare for him, I think I’ve been ready for this moment my whole life.”
“Well, alright then. Let’s start shopping,” she replied, unwilling to explore that emotionally loaded statement any further.
Noah smiled, and they climbed out of his vehicle and headed into the store.
* * *
Noah was lost. Lost in a sea of diapers and onesies, surrounded by toys, bottles, and books. He had no idea how to choose what was right for his child.His child…that still felt surreal. There was no doubt in his mind that the baby was his, however. If only he could figure out which brand of diapers to buy and what size clothing.
Mel brushed past him and dropped a load of items into the shopping cart. He stared down at it in wonder.
“How did you know what to get?” he asked.
She blushed, which was interesting. Noah couldn’t remember when he had ever seen Mel blush.
“I, ummm, just grabbed the basics,” she replied.
He stopped in the middle of the aisle, surrounded by hooded towels and baby shampoo. “I have to ask, Mel. How did you come to be a foster parent? Given how against relationships you are, I would have guessed kids weren’t on your radar,” he said softly, curiously.
She took over pushing the cart, refusing to meet his gaze. He could sense that this was a sensitive subject.
“I did want kids at one point. I still do, I guess.” She glanced up at him briefly, then focused her gaze ahead of them as she walked slowly through the store. “My ex-husband and I, we planned on having a family, even if we couldn’t agree on who would raise them. I wasn’t prepared to give up my career; he didn’t want a nanny. So, we didn’t start trying for a few years. When we did, nothing worked. I couldn’t conceive. Infertility is a bitch. Anyway, we went and started the process to adopt, but he never wanted a kid that wasn’t his own. After we split up, I finished the foster parent certification, more as a way to sayfuck youto Darren than anything else. Even if I didn’t have kids with him, I wanted the option for myself, just in case.”
Mel shrugged, but Noah could sense the pain rolling off her in waves. He ached to reach out and touch her, to offer comfort, but he knew she wouldn’t want that. Not from him at least.
“I haven’t done any fostering yet. After my divorce, I focused every spare moment on my career and trying to move on from the pain of infertility. It sucks when the thing that your body is meant to be able to do naturally, is physiologically impossible. Thinking about babies, even being around them, is hard because it reminds me of what I can never have. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against raising a child that isn’t mine biologically, but still, there’s a weird sense of loss that I haven’t been able to shake.”
“Yet here you are with me, in a store surrounded by baby stuff. And you’re about to help me to take care of a baby that mightn’t even be mine. Why?”
Mel was silent for a long moment. So long that Noah wondered if he maybe shouldn’t have asked that question.
“Because I couldn’t imagine that baby boy going home with anyone else,” she replied softly, without meeting his gaze. “You don’t need a paternity test to tell you that you’re his dad, and I just knew I had to do whatever I could to make it work.”
Noah tried not to read into her words too deeply. He and Mel had always kept emotions out of their friendship, and here she was sharing a level of concern and commitment that surprised the hell out of him. He knew he had to tread lightly, as it seemed that Melanie was on edge, liable to flee if things between them became any more serious. Being forced to live together, to raise a baby for however long was necessary, those were monumental changes in their relationship and Noah knew it wouldn’t take much for Mel to decide it was all too much.
“Well, thank you for believing in me and for taking this chance. It’s hard for me to admit this, because I know it’s not the manliest thing to say, but this is what I’ve always wanted.” He took a deep breath and decided to share a little bit of his past. “My dad was a loser. A drunk, a cheat, and an overall ass. He left us when I was little, and as soon as I was old enough to see my friends with their dads, and understand what a father should be, I knew. I knew that my goal in life would be to have the chance to be a better dad than mine was. Now I’ve got a crazy chance to make that my reality and it’s all thanks to you.”
Noah’s words hung in the silence between them, heavy with gratitude and affection.
Melanie sighed, but it was filled with acceptance not resignation, and he knew that she understood, without judgement. “You’ll be a great dad, Noah. Let’s just hope you’re also a good fake fiancé.”
He grinned. “I’ll be the best fake fiancé you’ve ever had. Now. How many diapers do we need?”
Chapter 3
The drive back to the hospital was filled with a contemplative silence. Noah knew that he and Melanie had a lot more to discuss, logistics like sleeping arrangements and how to keep up the ruse of their engagement. But he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that the idea of living with Mel, spending time together in close quarters, was enticing to say the least. Their friendship had always been flirtatious, but he had never taken it any further, wanting to respect Mel’s feelings about relationships. It was that respect for their friendship, that had him wondering if his rash decision to create an imaginary connection between them had been not only impulsive, but hurtful.
“Look, Mel, I need to back up a minute.” Noah paused, unsure how to let Mel know she could back out of the arrangement, with no hard feelings, while also making it clear how much he hoped she wouldn’t. “The last thing I want is for you to feel forced into this crazy situation. I know that what I said at the hospital put you in an impossible situation, and if this doesn’t feel okay with you, we can stop. Right here, right now. Just, please, even if I’m not going to pretend to be engaged to you, take the baby home. Don’t let him go to a stranger; I don’t think I could handle that. At least if he’s with you, I’ll know he’s okay. It’ll just be for a short while, until my paternity test comes back.”
When he finished what he had to say, Noah realized his hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight he was certain there would be marks left on his palms. Melanie didn’t say anything for a minute, and, try as he might, he couldn’t bring himself to look over at her to see if he could gauge her response.
