Page 26 of At the Highlander's Mercy
At her puzzled expression, he explained more about his discussions with Symon this day and the change or difference Rob noticed in him when he took his cousin’s opinion into consideration.
‘What was it about that letter that gave you pause? You had suspicions before I mentioned mine.’ She
nodded and gathered the blanket tighter around her shoulders. Leaning her head lower to keep the wind from carrying her voice, she gave him the answer he was hoping for.
‘It felt as though I was stepping in when a conversation was already going on between them. This letter referred to subjects and questions that clearly had been opened before this one was written. Is there an earlier one?’
That was it! She’d discovered the problem immediately. As he’d known her quick mind would.
‘None that I could find in my father’s papers.’
‘Who was his clerk? Does he still serve you? That would be a good place to begin,’ she suggested.
‘Brother Donal returned to the abbey when my father passed. I have a new clerk—Brother Finlay has taken over his duties now.’
And Brother Finlay had been recommended by Symon, having previously served Symon’s father.
‘From the look in your eyes, you have just realised something bad,’ she said, gazing at him.
He shrugged, not ready to share this with her right now. She took a step away and then turned back to face him.
‘So, if you will not answer that question, answer this one: why did you want me to see the documents?’
Should he be honest with her? Should he reveal the depth of the problems facing him to the daughter of his enemy? Well, that was not completely true, if he was being honest with himself. Connor might be the enemy of other clans and to some of his clansmen, but through it all, Rob had never considered them to be so. He smiled and met her astute gaze.
‘I still find myself thinking about what he would do or how he would handle something when faced with a task or a duty,’ he admitted. ‘He is the most intelligent and wise man I have ever met or known. I usually begin considering something with the words “what would Connor think about this matter?”’
‘And ruthless and cunning,’ she added.
‘Aye, that too.’ He laughed as the man’s daughter described in the words he’d avoided using. For many reasons.
‘And sometimes wrong, though he loathes to admit such a thing is possible.’ Lilidh laughed softly, then grew more serious. ‘So why has this breach opened between you two and forced you to be enemies? Why can you not go to him and solve this without bloodshed or bravado?’
He shook his head and crossed his arms. ‘That is not possible.’ For so many reasons he could never admit to her. For so many reasons.
‘So instead you kidnap his daughter and ask her the questions you would ask him? You seek out his advice from one who learned at his knee along with you?’
From her tone, he could not tell if she was pleased or angry. Her face gave no clue. ‘Just so, it would seem.’
‘I cannot and will not speak for my father, Rob. You know that. But my advice would be to seek out someone you trust who knew your father when these letters were being exchanged and ask about it. There is more behind this offer and move on the MacKenzies’ part than is being done in the open. Find out what. And...’ she paused and looked at him ‘...you must break from the past and be your own man, Rob. You cannot be the laird that my father is or that your father was. You must claim the chair as your own in your own way.’
Exactly what the man under discussion would have counselled if he’d asked.
If it were only that easy. To break free from the past with all its promises, hopes and failures. To let go ofthe guilt he lived with every day and accept his place—his rightful place.
‘Sound advice, as I expected, Lilidh,’ he said.
It was not through any fault of hers that only one of the things she suggested could be done. The second, well, there was too much of the past still controlling him to accept it could be done easily or now. He held out his arm to her to take her back inside and she accepted it. They’d almost reached the stairway down to his chamber’s floor when she pulled them to a stop.
‘You at least owe me the truth, Rob. What lies between you and my father now? What keeps you from the friendship you once had?’
Try as he might, the word, the answer, pushed its way out before he could stop it.
‘You.’
Chapter Eleven
For the first time since she’d been brought here, Lilidh faced going to bed somewhat awake. Or rather, his bed. The other nights had found her either in a stupor due to Beathas’s concoction or without a bit of strength left in her from her day in the kitchen. This night—which began with several interesting revelations from Rob—now quieted into darkness and silence.
