Page 53 of Requiem
Emma’s face comes into view, and my heart feels like it’s collapsing. This is worse than the initial jerk reaction, because I don’t feel what I’m supposed to feel. There’s no warmth snapping into place. No recognition that makes everything feel beautiful and calm. Just…discomfort. It’s almost like a low, vibrating and infuriating tension. My body isn’t happy about this. My jaw locks hard enough to snap, but I don’t look away.
Emma watches me carefully, like she’s measuring every reaction. “You’re doing it,” she says softly. “Jude, you’re looking at me.”
I swallow hard. My throat feels too tight.Fuck. “I don’t feel right,” I admit under my breath, my body beginning to tremble.
Emma nods once. “That’s okay,” she says. “That’s still progress.”
Progress.
I almost laugh at the word, and I force my gaze down for half a second before lifting it again. “You changed your hair,” I say quietly, the observation slipping out.
Emma pauses. Then nods. “I had to,” she says gently. “At the event. So you wouldn’t recognize me.”
Goddamn, that’s fucking heavy.
I lean back against the wall behind me, suddenly aware of how exhausted I feel. “I need…” I start, then stop. My throat works once. I don’t even finish the sentence. Saying I need any kind of medication makes me feel like shit at this point.
Micah shifts beside her, reading it before I say it. “Another dose?”
I nod once.
He exhales through his nose and glances at the time on his phone. “Yeah. You’re due.” A pause. Then he looks at Emma. “You okay if I step out real quick?”
Emma nods confidently. “Yeah.”
He hesitates anyway, eyes flicking back to me for a second longer than necessary, as if saying,don’t hurt her, asshole.The door clicks softly behind him, and Emma shifts on the corner of the bed. “You’re shaking again,” she says softly.
“I’m fine,” I lie automatically.
But I’m not looking at her face anymore. I’m looking just below it now. Anywhere but direct contact. Because when I look too long, my body starts doing things I can’t control.
Emma exhales softly. “You don’t have to push yourself past—”
“I said I’m fine.” My voice comes out sharper than I mean it to. Silence again, and immediate regret follows it. I drag a hand through my hair, forcing my breathing down.
Emma doesn’t flinch at my tone. She just watches me, like she’s waiting for the wave to pass instead of fighting against it. And that makes it worse, because I can feel myself slipping into that in-between space again. Notfullypresent. Notfullygone. Just…hovering.
“Jude,” she says quietly.
I look up, my gaze catching on her mouth for a second too long. My heart stumbles over itself, the damn thing. It’s confusing in a way that doesn’t match anything else I’ve felt today. Her lips…
I freeze.
Her words continue, but I barely register them. All I can think isdon’t.
Don’t go there. Don’t feel that. Don’t reach out and snatch her—
I shift back abruptly, increasing the space between us without even meaning to. My shoulders hit the wall behind me harder than intended.
Emma pauses mid-sentence.
“I—” I stop, exhale hard, then shake my head once. “Never mind.”
Footsteps outside the hall.
Perfect timing.
I let my head fall back against the wall, eyes closing for a second as the exhaustion hits me all at once again. The door opens, and Micah returns with water, a pill bottle, and a small tray of food I didn’t ask for.
