Page 91 of Requiem
Then Rafe speaks again, completely casual, like he’s discussing the weather. “You know,” he says, “there’s an argument to be made for replacing trauma responses with something a little more enjoyable. You know, like yesterday.”
I blink at him. “That’s…not how I’d put it right now.”
He shrugs. “Doesn’t make itwrong.”
“Well, it doesn’t make itrightin this moment,either,” I counter. “You're here.”
“Didn't stop you before,” he says swiftly.
I roll my eyes.
Jude finally glances slightly toward him. “Explain.”
Rafe tilts his head back against the seat. “Pain pathways are associative. If something triggers a collapse, your brain is already wired to follow that collapse pattern all the way through. But if you interrupt the pattern with a different stimulus, something physical and immediate…sometimes, you can reroute the response before it completes itself. If you’re feeling on edge of being triggered at all, perhaps you should consider distracting yourself.”
There’s a beat of silence after that. Jude’s grip on the wheel tightens slightly. “And what kind of stimulus are you suggesting?” he asks flatly.
Rafe finally turns his head just enough to look at him. “You’re in a car with a trained therapist, and you’re still makingmesay it out loud?”
I huff because I know exactly where this idiot is going with this. I also know he’s notentirelywrong in the narrow, clinical sense of emotional override through physical grounding.
Jude exhales slowly through his nose. “That’s insane.”
“Is it?” Rafe replies. “Or is it just uncomfortable because it involves acknowledging you’re not a goddamn machine? You can have complex responses, you know.”
That lands heavier than he probably intends.
Jude doesn’t respond immediately, but I can see his mind start testing the idea against his own experience, rather than rejecting it outright. And then, without warning, his hand leaves the wheel just long enough to flick the turn signal.
We slow.
I glance up. “Jude?”
But he’s already pulling over. The car rolls to a stop along the edge of a quiet road framed by trees and open space, far enough from anything that it feels like we won’t be interrupted.
“Well,” Rafe says calmly, already reaching for his phone, “This is going to be quite therapeutic. Can’t say Iwantto be here for this, but…” He shrugs. “I get it. And, I’ve already watched you fuck before, so.”
Jude is already opening his door. “I need you out,” he says to Rafe, voice tight but controlled.
Rafe doesn’t even look surprised. He just unbuckles his seatbelt.“Finally,”he says, opening his door. “I was starting to think I was going to have to endure metaphorical foreplay all the way to a grocery store.” He gets out, closes the door, and walks a few steps away.
I stare after him. “Is he…serious?” I ask.
“Extremely,” Rafe calls without turning around. “Try not to damage the upholstery. Adela likes this car.”
And then Jude is there. He doesn’t wait for anything else. I barely have time to register the movement before he’s ripping the back door open. My breath catches in a sharp gasp, but I don’t move away. I don’t flinch. Iunderstand that it’s both him losing controlandclawing back a piece of himself through the most primal, undeniable connection we have.
He leans into the backseat, and for a moment, everything about him is sharp with restraint. His hands don’t shake, but there’s tension radiating from him, coiled in the lean muscles of his arms and in his jaw. His hazel eyes lock on mine, intense and burning.
“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice trembling.
I nod immediately. “Yes. It’s okay. It’smorethan okay, actually.”
And then he lays my back flat against the backseat, and cups my face in his hands. His mouth crashes into mine, and the kiss is nothing like the careful ones from before. This one is raw. His lips are hot and demanding, his tongue seeking mine without hesitation. It’s like something inside him finally stops trying to hold itself in place and just…lets go into sensation instead. The taste of him overwhelms me in the best way, and now my head is dizzy.
My hands grip his shirt instinctively, because I need whatever I can get from him. My mouth opens, my tongue meeting his, and a low groan vibrates in his chest.
Outside, somewhere in the distance, I hear Rafe’s voice on a phone call. “Hi, Adela. Yes. We’ve made an unscheduled stop. No, we’re okay. He’s fucking her in the backseat because he had amoment. But it’s fine. I told them to do it. Yes, I know I'm an idiot, baby, what do you want from me? Sex always works to distract me.” He says the last sentence seductively.
