Page 61 of Requiem
Nausea crawls up my throat. “I know,” I say quietly. Talking to his parents about this is probably the most painful thing I’ve had to do.
“Is it real?” Rachel asks immediately. “Emma, please tell me that’s not him. That it’s edited or…or something taken out of context.”
My grip on the phone tightens. I look across the bedroom like I expecthimto be standing there listening. But he isn’t. And it makes my stomach hurt. I have to lie to them all right now. At least until we can get ahead of this. “He’s—” I start, then stop because the words feel useless. “The man in the video isn’t dead.”Lie.“But Jude did get into a fight. And now, he’s getting help. We’re in Moscow.”
That’s the only truth I can offer them right now. I feel like shit.
“My boy…” Rachel’s voice is fracturing. Her world is crumbling right now, and I’mlyingto her. Yes, her son is a killer. He’s killed a lot of people. But that would only destroy her without him being at least safe and away from all of this.
That’s when I hear another voice in the background. “Mom, let me talk to her.”
There’s a shuffle, then the sound of someone taking the phone. “Emma?”Vanessa.
My throat tightens instantly in a different way. I haven’t talked to her, really, since Jude and I broke up. She left for college and to pursue her vet career in Portland shortly before we split. “Hey,” I say softly.
She exhales, sounding out of breath. “Tell me he’s not…like that,” she whispers. “Please. Tell me that…that my brother didn’t do that.”
I press my lips together, trying to find words that won’t shatter her further. “He’s not what they’re making him out to be,” I say carefully. “But he’s also not okay.”
Silence.
Then, quieter: “I knew something was wrong when he stopped texting me back.”
My eyes sting. He was always very close with Vanessa growing up. “He didn’t stop caring,” I say quickly, becausethatmatters more than anything. “He’s just…not in a stable place right now. He’s recovering from something really severe, Vanessa.”
The line goes quiet again, as if all three of them are sitting with that. But then I hear Vanessa’s voice fade as she cries.
I close my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
Alaric’s voice cuts in. “Emma, is he safe to be around? Don’t put yourself in danger.”
I steady my breath. “I wouldn’t be here if I thought he was a danger in that way right now,” I say honestly, carefully choosing every word. “But he is unwell. He’s…in recovery, being monitored.” I clear my throat. “When he is able, I’ll have him call you, okay?”
“Okay,” Rachel breathes out shakily. “Does he know about the video?”
“Yes,” I say.
Another pause. Then she says something that punches me in the stomach.
“I don’t know how to unsee it.”
My chest tightens painfully.Neither do I.
Alaric’s voice softens, but it’s still filled with concern. “Emma…just…please don’t let him disappear from us completely. Tell him that we love him, and that we’ll never give up.”
My throat tightens so hard it almost hurts to speak. “I’ll tell him,” I whisper.
When I hang up, the silence that follows is damn near suffocating. For a moment, I just stand there, phone still in my hand, listening to everyone talking downstairs. This time, it’s my parents. I’ll tell them the same lies and hope that they buy them.
Deep breath, Emma.
***
My body is exhausted, but my mind won’t shut the hell up. It keeps replaying everything from earlier. He had a rough day, barely eating anything at all. I never ended up going in to see him. None of us did, other than Micah offering his second dose of the day. And talking to both of ourparents drained me. I hate lying to people, even if it’s for the better. It still feels like a stain on my soul.
I inhale slowly, calming my breath the way I’ve been trained to do a thousand times before. I know I’m not going to be able to sleep. I glance at my phone, seeing that it’s nearly 1a.m.
Fuck it.
