Page 22 of Requiem
For a second, neither of us says anything when I stop in front of her. Adela casually ushers Rafe, Nico, and Kieran upstairs, leaving her and me alone in the living room. The space between us is loaded with words I’ve wanted to scream at her from the beginning. Since when he was withering and she took from him over and over anyway. This bitch has hurt him beyond comprehension. This evil fuckingmonster.
I force myself to take another step forward.“Why did he want to protect you?”
Adriana exhales slowly. “Emma—”
“No,” I cut in, shaking my head. My voice trembles, but I don’t stop. “He wasn’t supposed to want you. Hehatedyou. He wanted to kill you—” My breath catches, and I press my lips together, trying to steady it. “I need to understand what happened between you two there. I need to understand the man I’m trying to save. Andunfortunately, you know more than I do.”
Her expression tightens, but she stays quiet.
My heart hurts. “Does he love you?”
She frowns, hesitating for a moment. “No, Emma. He doesn’t love me.”
“Do you love him?” I ask faster than I can even think about what I’m saying.
“No.”
“Were you guys, like,togetherat Alexei’s?” I clench my jaw, nervous of her answer.
“No,” she repeats quietly.
I nod once, wiping an angry tear away. “I haven’t seen him yet. Not since he woke up. I’m scared to. Isn’t that awful?”
Adriana remains quiet. She probably knows how hard I’m holding back. In a perfect world, I would have smashed her face against a concrete wallmonthsago.
A heavy sigh leaves me. I don’t know why I’m bothering talking to her. “Okay.” I go to turn, since my fists are shaking and begging to punch her. But her voice stops me in my tracks.
“He refused to say your name,” she whispers.
I stare at her. “He…he what?”
“He hatedhearingyour name, even,” she continues. “He nearly hit me when I said it. I think it was his way of coping and accepting that he lost you. He loves you, Emma, you have to know that. I think that perhaps you’re the reason he held on for so long.” She pauses, her gaze falling to the floor. “That’s why Alexei used you against him I think. You were the last thing keeping himhere.”
I hate that I can’t hold this together. I drag in a shaky breath, trying to center myself through the rage and the devastation, but it’s not working. The tears are already there, slipping past before I can stop them. He refused to hear my name?Say it?No.
Adriana’s brows pull together in sympathy.
“I love him,” I say, the words coming out raw as I sit at the dining table. “Do you understand that? Ilovehim, and I—” My voice cracks again, and I press my lips together, shaking my head as I try to keep going. “I don’t care what they did to him. I don’t care how broken he is right now. Because it’s stillhimdown there.”
Adriana’s eyes glisten, her composure slipping. “I know,” she whispers.
Something about the way she says it makes my chest tighten even more. Because shedoesknow. And Ihatethat she does. She’s spent all of those years with him, watching him spiral. She was there, kissing him, sleeping with him, hurting him—
“I failed him,” she says suddenly. “I should have gotten him out sooner. I should have—” She cuts herself off, shaking her head. “I used him. For years. And even when I thought I cared about him, I was still part of what was hurting him. I just did to him what Nolan was doing to me.”
I don’t say anything. Because I don’t trust what will come out if I do. I’ve never wanted toactuallykill someone before like this. My brain tries rationalizing my emotions, filing them away into neat little fucking folders labeled,“trauma-bonding,” “industry abuse,”and“hurt people hurt people.”Every logical part of me understands exactly what happened between them. But every emotional part of me still wants to wrap both hands around her throat.
I feel the little organized pieces of myself slipping, crashing into one another.
Adriana’s lips part, then press together again like she’s debating whether or not to tell me something else. Then she sits across from me. “He tried to kill himself.”
Everything in me goes still. I turn my head toward her, slowly. “What?”
Her eyes fill with tears. “After everything finally caught up to him…he couldn’t handle it anymore.”
“No,” I breathe, my hands shaking in my lap. “How?”
Adriana nods weakly. “I didn’t know what to do. He was—he was breaking down already, and I thought…” She shakes her head. “I thought that was it.”
