Page 18 of Requiem
“Micah—” Nico calls after me, but there’s no real force behind it. “Dude.”
I don’t stop. I wouldn’t anyway; I don’t give a single fuck. My grip tightens around the Suboxone bottle, the plastic digging into my palm. For a second, I just stand there. Because on the other side of that door…
I reach for the handle, unlock it, and push it open. I freeze the moment I lay eyes on my best friend. He’s at the far side of the room, half-turned away from me, shoulders tight, chest heaving like he’s struggling to get enough air in. The chain attached to his wrist hangs slack for a second before it jerks again when he moves. He doesn’t notice me right away.
“Jude.” My voice is quiet.
He stills. Slowly, he turns his head and looks at me. For a second, there’s nothing in his expression at all. No recognition or reaction to who I am, standing here in his space. Just this empty, confused look.
My fucking chest cracks open, and I find myself placing a hand on it, sort of how Emma does. “Hey,” I try again, taking a slow step forward. “It’s me.”
His gaze sharpens, more suspicious.
“Micah,” I add, like saying it might help. “It’s Micah, man.”
His brow furrows, his head tilting just a fraction. Then his expression twists. “Micah…” he repeats. “Yeah.”
Relief hits me so fast it almost knocks the air out of me. “Yeah,” I breathe. “That’s right.” I take another step closer, slower this time, careful not to push too fast. “I’ve got something for you,” I add, lifting the bottle slightly. “It’ll help you feel a little better. Notentirely,but—”
His eyes drop to my hand, and everything changes. “No,” he says immediately.
My chest tightens. “Jude, it’s not—”
“No.” He shakes his head harder now, backing up until the chain pulls tight, the metal snapping with a harsh sound. “No, I’m not—fuck,I’m not taking that—”
“It’s not what you think,” I cut in quickly, trying to keep my voice steady. “It’sSuboxone. Remember? Heather talked about it when we were still in Seaside. She was getting it for us. It’ll help with the heroin withdrawal symptoms.”
“I said no!” he hisses, his voice cracking through the room.
I snap my mouth shut. He’s breathing harder now, his hands shaking violently at his sides before one of them jerks up, dragging through his hair again like he’s trying to tear thoughts out of his own head.
“I need—” His voice breaks, and he chokes on the rest of it, his body flinching like the words themselves hurt.
“I know,” I say quickly, taking another step forward despite the way my heart is breaking. “I know, I’ve got you. Just, just let me help you.”
He looks at me again, and for a split second, I seehim.
“Micah,” he says again, quieter now. “I can’t...” He shakes his head, backing up again even though there’s nowhere to go, the chain pulling tighter with every step. “I can’t do this, I can’t, I can’t—” His body jerks suddenly, and he doubles over, a sound resembling a gag and a sob tearing out of him.
I move without thinking, closing the distance too fast. “Jude—”
“Don’tfuckingtouch me!” he snarls, and I freeze.
“I’m not gonna hurt you,” I say, quieter now, forcing every word out even as everything inside me starts to unravel. “I’m here to help. That’s it.”
“No, he—” His voice fractures, his gaze darting briefly to the walls like something might be hiding there. “He’ll—”
“He’s not here,” I cut in firmly. “Jude, listen to me.Alexei isn’t here.”
His breathing stutters. And for a second, he just stares at me. Then his body trembles harder, the withdrawal clawing back in, stealing whatever fragile grip he had for that moment.
“I can’t,” he says again, weaker now.
Yeah. I can see that. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
I stand there, a few feet away from him, the Suboxone still in my hand, completely fucking useless as he shakes and breaks in front of me. I feel it. Adriana was right. Something in him is still there, but whatever they did to him...
He’s buried so deep I don’t know how the hell we’re supposed to reach him.
