Page 39 of My Duke, The Stranger
He did not speak right away.
Isolde still could not look at him, but she felt his eyes, just as she felt the way he looked through her. The smile was gone. The adoration was no more. A chill swept through the room and slowly, surely, he let go of her hand.
Strangely, that hurt most of all.
“Why?” he said, his voice cold. “Why did you…” He took a rattled breath. “Make me understand.”
“I do not want to make excuses,” she said. “And anything I say will only sound as if I am.”
“Tell me,” he said with a hint of command. “Now.”
Isolde’s heart thumped against her ribcage. She shuddered from the cold that crept across her body. She dared a glance at Cassian, saw the distant look in his eyes, and looked away. She could only imagine what was going through his mind…nothing good, and less than I deserve.
“It started two years ago.” She took a deep breath. “My father fell ill, such that all our savings went toward trying to keep him alive. At the same time, you raised the taxes on the estate beyond anything we could hope to pay. Our parish…” She sniffed and wiped her nose. “It fell into disrepair, and I thought that maybe you would…” Her chin wobbled. “That if I spoke to you myself, that you might agree to lowering our taxes or… or helping us in any way that you could.”
As Isolde spoke, she remembered the night in question.
It had been raining, which forced her to trudge, soaking wet, through Cassian’s manor. She left mud stains in her trail, which she did not notice, but Cassian did. She was brought to his office,and her physical state, as well as those stains, were the first thing upon which he remarked.
He had with him several other dukes. All drunk. Cigar smoke hanging thick in the air. She fell to her knees before him and begged for assistance. She told him of her father’s ailing health, beseeching him to be reasonable and forgiving. She did not ask for pity. All she asked for was a slither of common decency.
Cassian’s response? He laughed. Even now, she still heard that cruel laughter rattle through her head. He told her to get up, to stop making a mockery of his home, and then he ordered her to leave. She had hesitated, not able to believe that one could be so cruel. That was when he had her dragged away…
Of course, she did not tell Cassian those details.
“You refused me,” she said simply. “You asked me to leave and never come back. And every day since then, my family, our parish, has struggled to make ends meet.”
“Why are you…” His voice cracked, but he hardened it. “Why are you telling me this?”
“You were brought to my home after your accident,” she continued, still unable to look at him. “And when you woke, unable to remember who you were, I thought… I thought…” She took a deep breath, and she looked up to meet his eyes. She was ashamed. She was riddled with guilt. But she needed him to know that her intentions were pure. “I thought that I might be able to use the situation to convince you to help. That is all I did.I hoped that if you thought of me as someone you cared for, you might help my family.”
“Use the situation?” His upper lip curled. “Use me, you mean?”
“No!” she cried, but caught her tongue because it was the truth. “I… I did not think. All I wanted was to help my family. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Is that what you think you have done?” His voice was cold. “That you have hurt me?”
“I don’t…”
“So, you lied,” he said with a sneer. “You saw a man broken, and you thought to take advantage. You told me that we were engaged, and then you went along with the ruse.”
She said nothing.
“And everything since then? Has anything you have told me been true?”
“Yes…” Her voice was a whisper. “I… you and I… I am so sorry, Cassian. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
He let those final words sit between them. He did not move. He did not look away. But while he sat close to Isolde, whostood only a foot away, the distance between them had never felt greater.
Isolde’s heart crashed in her chest. She saw Cassian; she recognized his face, but she did not know him. Not anymore. And from the way he looked at her, she knew that he felt the same about her.
“I need you to leave,” he said.
“I will,” she said quickly. “I will pack my things and?—”
“No,” he cut her off. “You will not leave the estate. Not until I dismiss you myself.”
“I…” She frowned as she searched him. “What… what do you…”
