Page 65 of Certified to Handle You
“Thank you,” I replied. “That’s all I’m sayin’.”
“But…” she added, draggin’ it out just enough to make me roll my eyes, “Renza don’t seem like the type to just be out here playin’ games either. He just seem like he keeps a lot to himself.”
I sat e for a second, then scoffed. “Yeah, and that’s the problem. He don’t share nothin’. But expect me to share everything with him.”
“That’s fair,” she said.
I rubbed my face, feelin’ that irritation creepin’ back in. “And it’s not even like I be sittin’ around tellin’ him everything I feel. Most of the time, I don’t say nothin’ until it start sittin’ on me too long.”
Mecca stayed quiet, listenin’.
“But when I do finally say somethin’, he be smooth with it. He’ll listen, pull me in, kiss on me, make it feel better in the moment… but he don’t reallysayshit for real. Like he fix it his way, but I still be sittin’ here not knowin’ what’s in his head.”
Mecca was quiet again, then I heard her shift on her end.
“So, okay… let me play devil’s advocate real quick,” she said.
I sighed. “Go ahead.”
“What if it ain’t you he hidin’?” she asked. “What if it’s them?”
I frowned. “What you mean?”
“I’m sayin’, what if he’s not embarrassed of you… but more so embarrassed of his family?” she explained. “He done joked before about how they is, and let’s be real… them Mensahs got a reputation.”
I didn’t say nothin’ at first, but I felt that land.
“You seen all that stuff that came out during Kay’Lo’s trial,” she went on. “The headlines, the stories, all the mess they had tied to they name. It was a lot. Girl… the whole damn island know to leave them damn people alone, so I don’t know. Maybe he just don’t know how you gon’ take the rest of his family, especially ’cause he know you don’t really rock with his cousins like that.”
I let out a slow breath, leanin’ my head back against the headboard.
“And if his family really like that,” she added, “he might be tryna protect you from it instead of hidin’ you from it. I could be wrong.”
I sat here thinkin’ about that, my fingers playin’ with the edge of my blanket. I thought about what I already knew of his family.
“Maybe,” I said after a while. “But that still don’t make it right.”
“It don’t,” she agreed. “I’m just sayin’ it might not be what you think it is.”
I swallowed, my chest feelin’ a little heavier now. “I’ve been tryin’ not to pay attention to all that stuff about his family. I really have. I just been focusin’ on him.”
“And that’s understandable,” she said.
“But I’m not blind. I seen all that shit too. All that stuff in the news… the way people talk about them… it ain’t normal, but I try to be open-minded because I love Renza. I can’t always put my finger on why I do… but I do.”
“It’s not normal,” Mecca said.
“And then when I’m around his cousins and their wives…” I trailed off, shakin’ my head.
“I know… girl, you told me.”
I hesitated for a second, then just said it. “They are weird.”
Mecca laughed a little. “You always say that, but weird, how?”
“I don’t even know how to explain it,” I said. “It’s just… different. The way they move, the way they talk, the way they interact with each other… it’s a lot.”
“Chaotic?” she guessed.
