Page 13 of Certified to Handle You
“Richie,” Grandma Glo called my cousin, lookin’ away from the phone. “Come here. I need you to run to Peaches and play my numbers before the afternoon cut off.”
Richie’s voice came from somewhere off camera. “Auntie, I just sat down.”
“You can sit down when you come back.”
I heard Richie groan before he came into view. Richie was in his forties with a belly, a fadin’ hairline, and the same mischievous face he had when I was a kid. He looked at the phone and saw me, then smirked.
“Look at Hollywood over there in Trill-Land,” he said. “You too rich to come home now?”
“Boy, bye,” I said, liftin’ my brow. “I ain’t rich. I’m just near rich people, and that still don’t mean I’m finna loan you nothin’.”
He laughed. “You still owe me ten dollars anyway.”
“I sat up a lil’. Nigga, I’on owe you a damn thing. You still owe me ten dollars from back in the day. Don’t play with me.’”
“I’on know nothin’ ’bout that.”
“Uh huh,” I said, rollin’ my eyes.
Grandma Glo waved her hand while my mama kept oilin’ her scalp. “Both of y’all hush. Richie, go play my numbers. I need 415, 722, 906, and play 333 straight.”
Richie frowned. “Auntie, you play 333 every week, and it don’t never come out.”
“It came in my dream.”
“You dream that every week too. At this point, it’s delusion.”
I pointed at the screen quick. “Hold up, potna. You better watch how you talk to my grandma. If she say that number came in a dream, then that number came in a dream. Don’t block her blessin’ with yo’ negative spirit and that dry ass beard.”
My mama busted out laughin’, and Grandma Glo covered her mouth like she was tryin’ not to encourage me.
Richie looked offended. “My beard ain’t dry.”
“It look thirsty from here.”
“Sha’Nelle, you got jokes now?”
“I been had jokes. You just been too slow to catch ’em.”
He leaned closer to the screen. “That’s why I don’t fool with you. You get over there around them palace people and start actin’ brand new.”
“Richie, I was actin’ brand new when I was broke. Hell, I’m still broke.”
Grandma Glo laughed again, and that sound made me smile before I could stop myself. This was the part of home I missed. Not the drama, the family pickin’ sides and everybody havin’ somethin’ to say about Toni and Kay’Lo, but this right here.
Grandma Glo reached for the plastic bag beside her and pulled out a few scratch offs. “And get me two of them Golden 7 tickets too. Not from the front of the roll either. Tell Peaches to go in the middle.”
Richie shook his head. “Auntie, Peaches not finna let me pick from the middle of the roll.”
“Tell her it’s for me.”
Richie grabbed his keys off the table. “A’ight, I’m gone, but Sha’Nelle, don’t think I forgot about my ten dollars.”
“I hope you forget where you parked.”
“See, that’s why yo’ phone always cracked.”
“Nigga, my phone not cracked.”
