Page 96 of Certified to Handle You
“I didn’t like that,” I said, shakin’ my head. “I don’t care how nobody else take it. I don’t like that shit.”
Mecca hummed softly on the other end, lettin’ me talk.
“And then Toni tried to come at me,” I continued. “I wasn’t even talkin’ to her, and she jumped in like she really wanted to go there with me.”
I leaned against the balcony rail, lookin’ out at the water while I kept goin’. “And his mama told me to go to my room like I’m a child. Like… what?”
“That’s crazy,” Mecca said quietly.
“I’m tellin’ you, this shit weird,” I said. “All of it. The way they move, and the way everything run with this family… it’s weird.”
I paused, then added, “And Renza not even hearin’ me. He act like I’m just trippin’.”
Mecca sighed on the other end. “And how long y’all got before y’all get back?”
I let out a breath and rolled my eyes. “Two more fuckin’ days,” I said. “And I already know this shit gon’ feel long as hell.”
She was quiet for a second before she spoke again, her tone softer now. “Just get through it, friend,” she said. “Don’t make it worse than it already is. Them people got all kinds of stories around their name, and you out there by yourself.”
I swallowed and nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I know.”
“I just need you to make it back,” she continued. “That’s it.”
We stayed on the phone for a while after that, talkin’ about nothin’ and everything at the same time, and by the time we hung up, the sun had already started droppin’.
Day turned into night without me even realizin’ it.
I stayed out on the balcony, sittin’ with the water stretchin’ out in front of me while the breeze hit my skin but did nothin’ to calm me down the way I needed it to.
At some point, I grabbed a drink and then another, tellin’ myself I just needed to take the edge off, but the feelin’ didn’t go nowhere no matter how much I tried to shake it.
It just stayed with me, while everything that happened kept replayin’ in my head whether I wanted it to or not.
Finally, I heard the door open behind me after a while, and I knew it was Renza without even turnin’ around, but I didn’t move or acknowledge it.
I saw him out the corner of my eye walk past, movin’ around the room like I wasn’t even here, and for a second, I thought he was goin’ to come out and say somethin’, but he didn’t. He went straight to the bathroom, and a few seconds later, I heard the shower come on, and I stayed where I was instead of turnin’ around or sayin’ anything to him.
By the time he came back out, I had already gotten in the bed. I could smell his cologne when he walked past. It was that same scent I used to lean into, but this time I didn’t say nothin’, and he didn’t either.
The bed shifted when he got in, but he didn’t reach for me. He didn’t pull me in or try to touch me. He just laid down on his side, and within a few minutes, it felt like he was already gone.
I stared ahead in the dark with my back turned to him, feelin’ that space between us more than anything.
Right then, I already knew…
This was how the next two days on this damn yacht was about to go.
Yacht Nyori
Two days later…
Today, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with or hear no bullshit. We was finally about to leave the yacht, and instead of that shit feelin’ like the end of a good time, it felt like I had been holdin’ my breath for five days and was just now gettin’ a chance to let it out.
I stood off to the side with my cup in my hand, posted up where I could see everything without really bein’ in it.
My family was movin’ around, talkin’, laughin’, gettin’ they bags together, doin’ what we always do when we wrap up somethin’ like this, and for the first time, I wasn’t in the middle of it. That alone told me how off this whole trip had been.
For the past two days, I hadn’t really been around my family like that, and I damn sure hadn’t been around Reni like I should’ve been.
